Fat Shaming

Hey everyone,

This wasn’t my originally planned post, but I just need to talk about something.  Last month I posted about Fat Talk – talking down to yourself.  Today I want to talk to the bullies who partake in Fat Shaming.

Every day – honestly EVERY DAY – I see posts on Facebook by people who joke about those who are overweight.  Let me tell you something – you are NOT helping!  In fact you are a bully!  I see two main categories here:

1)      People who used to be overweight

2)      People who have never been anything but skinny – healthy or not

To those people who used to be overweight – I want to ask you this.  Do you not remember how hard it was being fat?  The emotional and physical challenges you experienced.  Did you just forget about all of that? 

It is absolutely none of anyone’s business how or why Person A is overweight.  It could be medical, it could be because of depression (eating to soothe/feel better – even if only temporary), or it could be because they really fucking like McDonalds.  Either way you have no idea and you are not owed an explanation. 

Really though, what makes you think you have the right to comment on a person's size?  Would you feel as comfortable talking about the colour of their skin?   The country they were born in?  The religion they practice?

Being overweight is not a desired state for most people.  Sure there are people out there who enjoy it – to each their own.  But for the most part people don’t actually enjoy the sideways glances, the snickering behind their back, or the judgement people place on them.

Maybe you think it is as simple as deciding to lose the weight.  Let me be really open and honest with you… I have made that decision time and time again.  You know what happens?  I open my Facebook and see some GIFs or meme’s that people have posted on Facebook about the fat girl who is doing something that only a skinny girl can do without being judged – eating a burger, wearing a bathing suit etc.  That makes me feel pretty shitty because maybe they think I am like that girl.  Maybe people think I am gross.  Maybe when they look at that meme, they think it looks like me.

So I go to the gym and immediately wonder if everyone here thinks the same thing… Then I spend most of my workout wondering - am I sweating too much? 

Some days I have high enough self-esteem to ignore those people, and some days I can’t overlook it.  I am getting stronger as a person each day and have channeled that emotion into something positive.  I refuse to spend the rest of my life feeling like I am unworthy because my body doesn’t match my beautiful heart.  I struggle daily but I have committed to changing my life!  I really don’t need anyone making this any harder. (and neither does anyone else who is trying to lose weight)

Every winter, nearing the New Year, posts about “New Year’s Resolutions” start showing up on Social Media – and a lot of people say something about “OMG the gym is going to be SO busy—but don’t worry everything will be back to normal in February”.  Seriously?  Did you ever stop to think that that overweight man or woman is intimidated or even scared to go into “Your House” and feel like an outsider?  You look like you belong there – you know what you are doing.

There has got to be something that makes you feel unsure of yourself – think of a scenario in which you wouldn’t be the most comfortable or the most skilled.  Take a minute and think about that.  Then think about how you would feel if people passive aggressively called you out on it all of the time.  They post stuff about how you won’t succeed anyway etc.  Does that feel nice?  Maybe you don’t give a shit about what other people think – good for you!  But empathize with those who do care – try to put yourself in their shoes.  Do you think that helps them?

I encourage all of you who call the gym Home, to help the newbies – make them feel welcome.  I am not suggesting that you walk up to the biggest person in the gym and start telling them what to do.  I am simple suggesting that you smile, say hello – make them feel like they aren’t stupid for showing up.  Make them feel like this is an OK place to be.

You have no idea how powerful and how influential your actions are – and this goes for everyone in all parts of your life.  Be nice to people.  You don’t know everyone’s story.  You might just change someone’s life for the better with one smile :)

I am trying to think of all of the comments or thoughts people will have regarding this post, so I just want to say one more thing.  It is true that you cannot control how other people feel about things in life.  Some people look for a reason to have a problem with someone ex.) You are zoned out and happen to be looking directly at someone but you don’t notice until they say “Can I help you?!”.  You weren’t giving that person the stink eye lol it was a mistake.  But some people just jump at the chance to create drama. 

I am not talking about those situations.  I am talking about the situations where you choose to behave in a manner that can offend or hurt someone, and you know it.

We are all adults here and bullying in any form is wounding.  I challenge you to think twice and stand up when your buddy says something rude about another person – in person or behind the keys of the keyboard.  We aren’t in high school anymore where we need to worry about our friends accepting us.  If they truly are a friend, they will appreciate and respect your opinion.

With that being said, all of us can stand up for one another.  If you see someone being rude, stop them.  It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic; you can just let them know bullying isn’t cool.

I honestly hope that you read this and take something from it.  And if you think I am just "too sensitive" and making "too big of a deal" out of this, then I encourage you to read this again and pay attention this time.

 

Sincerely,
Kayla

The Importance of Setting SMART Goals!

Setting goals for yourself is very important and can really help you achieve your “end goal”.  If you say “I want to lose 50 pounds” but don’t set any goals in between, you put yourself at risk for a very long, unfulfilling journey.  That’s not to say you won’t achieve your goal, you absolutely can!  But setting smaller goals in between really helps to keep you motivated and on point!  Now, there is a method to the madness of goal setting… you can’t just say “I’m going to lose a lot of weight and gain a lot of muscle”.  You have to be more specific!  That is where the SMART system comes in.  

*Note: There are many variations of S.M.A.R.T., this is just what I have chosen to use!

Specific

Measurable

Attainable

Realistic

Timely

Specific Goals – your goal needs to include things like what you want to accomplish, what are the requirements and constraints, what are the specific reasons for this goal… etc.

Specific Example: “I want to lose X lbs of fat and gain X lbs of muscle and I plan to do so by joining World Gym and working out 3 days a week”

 

Measurable Goals – your goal needs to be measurable.  This can be measured in pounds, inches, days, weeks, months, hours… etc. 

Measurable Example: “I want to lose 5 pounds in one month”

 

Attainable Goals – make sure that your goal is reasonable.  If you said you wanted to lose 100lbs in 3 months, or prepare for a big show in 2 weeks, or something like that, you are not as likely to succeed.  It might be better to start with smaller goals; this will also keep you from feeling like the end is nowhere in sight.  Losing a large amount of weight is a daunting task, so breaking it up into smaller goals makes it more manageable! 

Attainable Goal Example: “I want to lose approximately 2 lbs a week until I reach my end goal” *Note: weight loss isn’t always that simple, some weeks you will go up, some weeks you will stay the same.  This is JUST an example.

 

Realistic Goals – make sure your goal is realistic… you wouldn’t expect someone to finish med school in a month, so don’t expect yourself to move mountains in the blink of an eye.  That’s not to say that you shouldn’t have high expectations because you absolutely should!  Pushing yourself and seeing what you are really made of can help you achieve your goals!  If your end goal is to lose 100 lbs make sure that the goals you set for yourself look something like this…

Realistic Goal Example: “I want to lose 100 lbs in one year and I will do so by losing approximately 8 pounds per month.”

That doesn’t sound so daunting, does it?! 

Timely Goals – make sure you have a timeline!  If your goal is just to get in shape… eventually.  There is nothing to push you to get to the gym RIGHT NOW!  You might feel like you can do it tomorrow, because there is no deadline.  So make sure you are specific about WHEN this goal needs to be accomplished by!

Timely Goal Example: “I will accomplish my end goal within one year and I will do that by achieving my “along the way” goals every month!”

Goals are so important and you can achieve every single goal you set out to accomplish if you make SMART Goals!  I know that when I first decided to get in shape I only thought of the end goal and it seemed SO far away.  So far that I wondered if I'd EVER get there.  So I decided to make smaller goals, ones that I could achieve in less time and they would help push me along.  Who wouldn't want to celebrate their way to a better body?!  Make the seemingly IMPOSSIBLE.... POSSIBLE!

Where I Began and Where I'm Headed!

I guess we have to look at where we started in order to envision where we want to go… So here ‘s where I started…

I kinda talked about where I started... but not really.  Opening up is hard but I believe that if I can help even just ONE person by sharing my experiences, it's worth it.

I was in a relationship that was not the healthiest and when I’m not happy, it shows.  I gained a substantial amount of weight and food was the only thing that comforted me.  It was a vicious circle; I ate because I was sad and I was sad because I was eating.  Then I decided to stop eating.  If eating makes me fat, not eating should make me skinny… right?  WRONG.  I gained more weight!  I was on a fast track to terrible health.  I decided I needed to take care of business so I removed myself from the unhealthy situation and started to deal with things… yes I’m talking about feelings!  It was grueling and I gained more weight because it was easier to turn to food than friends or family.  But eventually my emotions leveled out and I was able to think with a clear head.  This September I started my last year of school at WLU and I HATED how I looked and felt.  I decided to do something about the physical things now…  I went gluten free and sugar free and started working out more.  I was losing weight, inches, and gaining respect for myself!  The saying is cheesy but I really started to believe that my body was a temple and I was much more cautious and aware of what I was putting in it. 

Then came the dreadful exam period… When I am stressed I gain weight – mainly because I forget to eat or I try to live off of fruit alone. 

This is when Sheryl convinced me to make an appointment with Craig and start personal training.  I was beyond terrified to go to that consultation.  It would be the very first time I would have to tell someone how much I weighed.  The number is not grotesque but it is not healthy, nor is it where I want to be.  I couldn’t even say it, I had to write it down.  All Craig said was “OK!”  … I thought for sure there would be a “Wow, really?  Huh you don’t look like you weigh that amount.”,  “Well we have our work cut out for us.”, “This is going to take FOREVER… just so you know.”  But he didn’t say any of those things, he didn’t make any faces, and he didn’t make me feel uncomfortable.  I sat there thinking… “I’m really glad I decided to trust him…”

That is the most important part, I think.  You and your trainer need to trust each other and build some kind of relationship.  You need to know that your trainer has your best interest at heart and that you are a team working on this goal, together! 

That is what Craig and I have been doing and I am proud (a little scared but proud nonetheless) to announce that I have officially lost 50 lbs! 

I was able to lose 20 on my own from September to early December before I started with Craig and then I’ve lost 30 lbs with Craig in just 5 short weeks!  It is hard for me to see it sometimes, to be honest.  But the other day I had a major breakthrough and tried on a pair of jeans, just thinking I would see how far I had to go before I could zip them up… and they FIT!  I wore them out shopping that very day.  Nonetheless, I really appreciate when people notice it on me.  Like Dan, for instance, he saw me last week and said “Every time I see you, I see less and less of you!”  That made my WEEK!  I’m not fishing for compliments; I’m just saying that it means a lot when other people see the changes going on!

It feels incredible and I know it’s only going to feel better from here on out!  I’m not entirely sure what I want to weigh exactly, but I know that I want to be healthy, fit, and STRONG!  I don’t think a number means very much.  You could be 120lbs and STRONG or 120lbs and weak: same numbers but totally different body types.  I think I will just know when I get there!  Everyone has a part of their body that they want to focus on, not because it’s a problem area, but because it’s something they like.  For me, that is my back and upper body.  Something about a strong back and upper body just seems attractive to me.  I’ll put it this way… I want to be strong, but I don’t want to scare off or be bigger than a potential boyfriend hahaha!

I can’t wait to see where this journey takes me but I know a few things for sure: I’ll have my bubblemint gum, top secret body spray, lululemon, and AMAZING people along for the ride with me :)

Makeup at the Gym

Hello ladies,

Im talking to just you this time… I am a self-proclaimed beauty addict and I love doing my hair, nails, and most of all… MAKEUP!  Nothing beats the feeling you get when you know you look good!  There is a time and a place for all of these things, though.  Nothing looks worse, or more out of place, than a woman at the gym wearing the same makeup she would wear to a club… or worse yet, she might actually  be wearing last night’s makeup from the club. 

SAY NO TO RACCOON EYES!

SAY YES TO THE NATURAL LOOK!

I can completely understand wanting to still look polished and pretty, but just know this… When your mascara is running down your face because you are a hot sweaty mess, it’s not a good look.

Let me tell you what I think you should SKIP and what you can USE (if anything at all) from your makeup drawer when getting ready to hit the gym:

SKIP:

-        Blush (you are going to get naturally flushed cheeks anyway… you don’t want to look like a clown)

-        Lipstick (it’s really not necessary)

-        Foundation (you are going to be sweating!  Come on now!  The sweat and oils from your skin are going to cause the makeup to break up and get all splotchy… not a good look)

-        Eye shadow (it’s just too much to have your eyes all done up.  You want to look polished, not ready to party)

-        Mascara (this is in both categories: SKIP and USE)

USE:

-        Tinted moisturizer (this will make your skin look naturally glowy and healthy!  It will also lightly cover up any discolouration or pesky breakouts)

-        Lip balm/Chapstick (instead of lipstick you can use a balm which will give your lips a healthy shine)

-        Eyeliner (I would suggest a brown eyeliner that you can use really close to your lashes.  It will just give your eyes the appearance of fuller lashes)

-        Mascara (I decided to put this in both categories because you CAN use mascara, as long as you don’t go crazy with it AND make sure you use waterproof!  I have very light eyelashes, naturally.  So they tend to disappear on my face and I just feel self-conscious about it.  I like to use a brown mascara that just gives my lashes enough “oomph” so they are visible, but not “over done”)

Bottom line is you are at the gym to workout!  If you can go there with zero makeup on and feel confident, you are one step ahead of the rest.  No woman "needs" makeup… everyone is beautiful in their own way and you have to embrace what you have been given.  Makeup can certainly highlight or emphasize your favourite features but just remember that it isn’t the makeup that makes you beautiful… it’s just you!

Now, if you are saying “OK I get it… I don’t need all the makeup, but I still need something that’s going to make me feel pretty!” I say this…

-        Paint your nails!  (A pop of colour on your nails will make you feel put together!)

-        Do something cute with your hair *within reason* (if you usually do a messy bun, try a pony tail… or if you want something totally different, try a braid!  French braid, side braid, fishtail, rope braid… you name it!)

-        My personal fave is having really cool running shoes.  Mine are hot pink and yellow and not a week goes by without someone saying “Hey!  Cool shoes!”

I used to wear makeup every single day… (school, work, going out etc.) a full face of it!  From the primers and shadows to the lipsticks and false lashes.  It takes a long time to put it on and a long time to take it all off!  Since starting at the gym I have really limited my makeup routine.  Even if I am not going to the gym I still find myself putting on my tinted moisturizer instead of foundation and my brown mascara instead of my intense black.  I am starting to feel that inner beauty make its way out :)

No Makeup, Makeup Look:

- Apply tinted moisturizer to face and neck

- Lightly apply brown eyeliner and smudge between your lashes, this will give your lashes a fuller look!

- Apply waterproof brown mascara (OPTIONAL)

- Apply a lip balm (you can use a tinted one too if you like, but try to keep it natural looking)

- Grab your shoes and you are ready to hit the gym!

So the next time you are about to head to the gym just remember all you need is a big smile and your running shoes; leave the lipstick at home!

I hope you enjoyed this post and I will talk to you all very soon!

K

Motivation: How to Find it and How to Keep it Alive!

Motivation is hard to come by some days but you have to dig down deep and find it!  There are a lot of ways to help yourself find that motivation and desire to keep going.  I thought I would share a few of my faves with you! 

Motivational Pictures:

I have a file on my laptop with pictures that motivate me and remind me that what I am doing is an amazing thing and I should get out there are DO IT!

Motivational Videos:

This video is so motivational it makes me emotional!  The message is so important and really helps you find that drive to get up and hit the gym or go for a walk/jog/run, whatever!  Show everyone HOW GREAT YOU ARE!

This man, Nick, has the most beautiful spirit and he reminds me to get out there and take advantage of the life I have been given!  I have two arms, two legs, and the ability to do anything I put my mind to.  Nick does not have his limbs yet he loves fishing, golfing, and swimming!  He LOVES living life!  He has so much LIFE and really pushes you to LIVE YOUR LIFE! 

Maybe you don’t have one, some, or any of your limbs.  Maybe you are in a wheelchair.  Or maybe you feel like you are too far gone; there is too much weight to lose so you might as well not even try.  Or maybe, you are just too sad to get up off of the couch and go to the gym.  Being overweight has an extreme effect on your emotions and your self esteem.  But you have to find the motivation, the courage, and the strength to get out there!  Believe me when I say that you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to!  I know we have all heard it before but it is so true!  You don’t need to have a lot of money or a lot of time to start losing weight.  I know that is something a lot of people use as an excuse; I certainly have.  We all hear people say they don’t have time to go to the gym or go for a walk.  We have homework or deadlines to meet at work and we have to work late.  While I don’t deny that those things are very real and very important; I ask you this, what is more important than YOU?  Your body is everything!  Without your health you wont have to worry about that homework!  So MAKE time for yourself and take care of your body.  You will actually find that a healthy BODY promotes a healthy MIND and you will be able to accomplish your goals faster and better!  Your mind will be clear and you will be happier!  Feeling like you are “too far gone” is so far from the truth, it doesn’t even mimic it.  It doesn’t matter if you have to lose 10, 20, 50, 100, 300, or 500+ pounds; YOU ARE WORTH IT!  You are never too far gone and you should never give up on yourself!

Now you might say to me, “Kayla, I just don’t feel like it today.”  That is when I would say to you, “take a look at your motivational pictures and/or a motivational video.  Find your drive, deep down inside, and get out there!”  You don’t have to run a marathon or anything extreme, but just getting out there and moving is great!  Your body will thank you for going to the gym and doing your cardio, or whatever it may be.  You will feel energized and PROUD of yourself!  Every time you go for that walk or go to the gym you have ACCOMPLISHED something and it deserves recognition and celebration!  You should feel good about yourself and be proud of your hard work!

Now, if those things don’t work for you and you are more of a physical touch kind of person, try this idea out.  Get yourself a dress or pair of pants or shirt that you want to fit into.  We’ll call it your Goal Outfit.  Keep trying it on and noticing the differences each time you try it on.  Maybe this week it feels a little better in the thighs, hell maybe this week is the first time you can get your thighs INTO the pants!  They will be your motivation!  Each time you try them on you will see that you are getting closer and closer to your goal!  You can do this!

I hope this post reminds you, no matter where you are at in your goals, to never give up!  Always keep pushing yourself and finding that motivation.  Be the BEST you can be!

I hope you enjoyed this post and I will talk to you all very soon!

K

Celebrating the Small Stuff!

Noticing the changes your body is going through can be tough at times. You see yourself every day! Some people would think that would make it easier but it doesn’t.  The person who is going to notice those changes the most is someone who hasn’t seen you for a little while.  But really, who wants to wait around for that?  My recommendation?  Get yourself a TShirt or pair of shorts and use it as a guide.  Throughout the weeks, months, etc. keep trying on those SAME pieces of clothing and see how differently they fit.  Maybe the TShirt is looser in the mid-section or maybe the arms feel looser (or tighter if you are trying to gain weight/muscle).  Remember to keep track of these things in a notebook.  This way you can look back on your success and remind yourself of how AMAZING you are! 

Sometimes it is hard to SEE changes and a tape measure or the scale is not the best way to measure that change.  If you move the tape measure an inch up or down it can totally throw off the measurement and you might be left feeling down on yourself, not good!  The scale is a good tool BUT your weight fluctuates and seeing that number go up/down/up/down can really mess with your head.  It’s best to weigh yourself once a day or once a week or whatever is best for you; but just remember not to put too much emphasis on the numbers.  You want to pay attention to how your clothes are fitting you, too!  I have a love/hate relationship with the scale.  When it gives me good news, I adore it, I will be in a GREAT mood all day and I have pep in my step.  If that scale dares to give me BAD news, it will ruin my whole day, sometimes my whole week!  It’s not worth it, you will waste a whole day/week feeling upset rather than continuing all of your hard work. 

Another important thing to remember is you might look worse before you look better!  Your body is going through changes and things will look different, but you won’t go from wherever you started to where you want to be that easily! I WISH!  When I started losing weight my waist started shrinking but my hips stayed the same.  I looked like the Michelin Man!  Eventually things start to even out, and then you will go through the process all over again!  But it is all welcomed changes :) I can’t wait to see more changes, I’m just at the beginning of my journey... I've got a lot of changes to come!

The main point of this post is to remind everyone who is working out and making big changes, to celebrate the small stuff!  Don’t get too caught up on the numbers and don’t put too much pressure on yourself.  This is a work in progress, enjoy it!  When you are celebrating your accomplishments throughout the entire process it’ll feel like a MASSIVE SUCCESS the whole time!  It’ll be like celebrating your birthday all year round :)  If I feel like my jeans are fitting a little looser, I celebrate!  If I am able to find an outfit quickly and easily without having to try on a few different options, I really celebrate!  You get the point!  You have to celebrate every victory; no matter how big or small :)  I should clarify what I mean by celebrate.  I don't necessarily DO anything special or extravagant... It might just be sharing the news with someone close to me or watching one of my favourite shows without worrying about the homework I really should be doing lol ;)

I hope you guys enjoyed this post and I will talk to you all very soon!

K

PS – Im working on another post for a DELICIOUS almond “breaded” chicken recipe!  It tastes just like chicken fingers and it is totally gluten free!

I've Got Friends in Strong Places...

Going to the gym can be a daunting task.  There tends to be a lot of people there and a lot of equipment that you might not know how to use.  It is easy to feel lost or out of place there, but have no fear, there is hope!  World Gym is a fantastic place to work out and I have never felt more comfortable in a gym before!  I ABSOLUTELY started off feeling like I didn’t exactly belong because I had NO CLUE what I was doing.  I’d aimlessly walk around, look at a few machines, wonder what they were for, and then I would try a few out but never really feel like I was doing it RIGHT.  The more I went, the more comfortable I felt.  But it wasn’t until I started personal training that I felt the true community or family-like feeling at the gym.  I’m not saying you need to train to feel part of the team, but it just felt that way for me.  I was there with a purpose and people could tell! 

I think my frame of mind and the vibe I was giving off was much more positive, I wasn’t confused or feeling like I was out of place.  It’s all about how your portray yourself!  If you walk into a room having already decided that this just isn’t going to go your way, it will absolutely turn out that way and everyone is going to feel that negative vibe.  If you walk into the room excited, happy, and ready to rock, you are going to give off a totally different vibe and people are going to see you as approachable and fun!  I highly recommend the 2^nd option :)

I have actually met some wonderful people now that I am training at World Gym.  They are people I know I will keep close to my heart forever.  First person being Sheryl… She works at the gym but also trains there with Craig, the person I train with!  She is incredibly kind and she is the reason I am training with Craig today!  I am indebted to her for life!  She pulls me up when I am down and cheers me on when I succeed.  She is truly an angel!  OK enough of the mushy gushy stuff lol

Next person is Craig, my personal trainer.  He is AMAZING at what he does!  The hour goes by so fast because we talk throughout the entire session (except for when I’m dying and need to focus on breathing lol) and I spend half of that time laughing!  Some personal trainers, doctors, or enthusiasts tend to have strong opinions on certain things or they tell you to do something without explanation, and it is because they have no reason… they just read it in a book somewhere or heard it from another person.  Not the case with Craig.  I ask a LOT of questions and he always has answers… Unless I come up with something totally random and weird… Like my weird feeling in my arm when I laugh LOL!  He could make each workout session totally generic, routine, and very “business” -like but he doesn’t and that is why he is so good at what he does.  You don’t feel like you are going to workout with your trainer, you feel like you are going to workout with a friend!

Mel is another girl that is so kind and she made me feel as comfortable as I could feel after my first workout with Craig when I got sick.  She sat with me until I felt better and comforted me when I was a little scared.  I’m not a fan of throwing up or not knowing what’s going on.  You don’t find people like this every day, and certainly not in any old gym. 

Finally, my newest new friend, is Crystal!  She is such an inspiration and a breath of fresh air!  She introduced herself to me the other day at the gym (she is friends with Sheryl) and we hit it off!  She projects that positive vibe I was telling you about earlier.  You just gravitate toward people like that and they brighten your day.  She also offered to be my cardio workout buddy; I thought that was just so sweet!  Now if I am feeling like cardio is the LAST thing I want to do, I can call her up and say LET’S GO! 

It is so important to build a circle of friends for yourself when going through any kind of transformation.  You need people who you can lean on for support, people who have been where you are and know that the climb is hard, but SO worth it!  It is easier to share your struggles with someone who has struggled with the same things and has succeeded!  I am so grateful to everyone I have mentioned here and I am so excited to meet even more people!  It feels so much better when you can share your successes with a bunch of people who know what it took to reach that point of success!  It also feels even MORE wonderful when you get to cheer those people on.  They are sources of friendship and support; two very important things to have in anyone’s life!

So, I hope you are all healthy and happy and if you are planning on starting up at a gym I highly recommend my gym :) but more importantly, wherever you go, make sure your chin is up and you have a smile on your face! 

I hope you enjoyed this post and I will talk to you all very soon!

~ K

Let's Begin!

Welcome!

This is my first post on the new blog :)  I thought I would begin by introducing myself...  My name is Kayla and I have decided to make some big changes in my life.  I was never a skinny girl and I don't plan on becoming one.  What I DO want is to strengthen my body and have a more toned, lean physique.  I started my journey in September when I decided enough was enough.  I didnt want to have to find an outfit that looked good, I wanted to throw on a pair of jeans and a T-Shirt and run out the door without giving it any more thought.  So, my plan of action?  I cut gluten and sugar out of my diet entirely.  At first it was incredibly challenging!  I was grouchy and hungry all the time and all I wanted to do was hook myself up to a sugar IV drip and let the sugar high wash away the cravings.  I did not give in and it DID get better.  It took me about 5 days to detox and get the sugar out of my system and then I noticed some MAJOR changes in my mood and body.  It was like someone flipped a switch, I had all of this energy that I hadn't had before and I never felt bloated or uncomfortable anymore.  I loved it!  I was hitting the gym several times a week and the pounds were coming off.  It was wonderful and I had lost 25 lbs all by myself!  I was very proud :)

Then the lull hit...

All of the sudden those dietary changes and workouts weren't cutting it!  I wasn't losing anymore weight!  The stress of exams had actually caused me to put on some weight.  I wasn't feeling so happy anymore so I reached out to a friend and she suggested I train with her personal trainer.  I was skeptical at first to be honest.  I felt like there was no hope for me. 

*Weight and body image has been a big issue for me for most of my life.  If anyone is interested in hearing more about overcoming body image issues just comment below and I will go into more detail* 

Nonetheless, I took her up on her suggestion and made an appointment to see a personal trainer.  That is the day my life truly changed.  He told me that my goals were ATTAINABLE!  I could become a physically strong woman with a feminine physique.  I was not too far gone...

We picked a day, December 21, 2011 and started working out!  I was beyond nervous for my first workout.  I was worried about what to wear, would I sweat to much, would people look at me weird for being in the "guys section" of the gym?  I had all of these insecurities floating around in my head but I told them all to take a hike because nothing was going to stop me from achieving my goals!  With 5 minutes to go until the end of my first workout, I started feeling "off" and had to end it early.  I had pushed myself so hard and did not have enough food in my system so I ended up getting sick.  It was an incredibly embarrassing moment (actually 25 minutes) but I have now figured out when I need to eat my meals so I am fuelled up and ready to work out!

*More on meals in a later post*

It took me FIVE days to recover from that first workout but I wouldn't have changed a thing!  Even the barfing...  It showed me that a little sweat and a little barf won't kill me.  It's not "gross", it shows I worked my ASS off and pushed myself to the limit!  Since then I have had 4 more sessions with my trainer (I am excluding names until I get permission to use names) and I feel fantastic!

I have lost 14 lbs since Dec 21, bringing my total to 32 lbs lost since September!

I am so excited about this journey and have met some wonderful people so far that I know will be with me every step of the way. 

I hope you enjoyed this post and I will talk to you all very soon!

~ K