Blast from the Past

Hey everyone!

I was at the mall picking up a few things that I had forgotten to grab yesterday and all of the sudden I felt something in the pit of my stomach, saying STOP.  I slowed down and turned to my right and I saw someone I haven’t seen in many, many years.  I will leave out names, connections, etc. as I don’t want any privacy issues – I might share a lot of my life, but that’s just me.

Anyway, I wanted to just keep walking but I couldn’t, I literally felt a pull toward her.  She was talking to someone and I interrupted and I immediately regretted it but I also wouldn’t have changed a thing.  I feel like I interrupted that conversation for a reason.  It was just sketchy.

We walked for a bit and all I could think of is OMG I just want to hug her and tell her it’s going to be okay… Perhaps I should preface this by saying that I am INCREDIBLY in touch with emotion.  When I see someone hurting, it rips my heart in half.  Sometimes I can feel how much they are hurting even if they don’t show it on their face – that was what happened here.  I have known this person for so long and seeing her today and remembering what she was like before, broke my heart.

I will never know for certain what that conversation I interrupted was about, or what is really going on in her life – but man… I am so glad I made certain decisions in my life that led me down an entirely different path.

It got me thinking how close I was to living the same type of life as her – having her reality be my own.  It shook me to my core.  We are ALL one decision away from changing our lives – for better or worse.

That is pretty scary when you think of it! 

I truly believe that things happen for a reason, and I believe that the universe just aligned and I was destined to see her.  Because to be honest, I couldn’t find a parking spot at the mall to save my life so I was just going to leave and come back later in the week.  I decided to make one more loop around and there was a spot.  I almost didn’t go in there.  This opportunity was almost missed.

Decisions are hard and they are scary sometimes, but I think it should be that way, for some things.  Decisions should require time, thought, and consideration.  You are painting the picture of your life, one brush stroke at a time.  Be conscious of that.  Making the decision to go back to school is hard, expensive, and means you will have to sacrifice a lot – but if you give it enough time and thought, you will be able to decide if it is the best choice for you.  Maybe it will open more doors for you!  Same goes for deciding to live a healthier lifestyle – it is hard but it is worth it.  It also requires daily decisions to stay healthy.  It doesn’t just happen after you “decide to be healthy” – it is a work in progress!

My point in sharing this with you is just to remind you that we are in charge of our lives.  Things may happen that are out of our control, but you can always change the situation you are in.

Anyway, I hope that she got something from seeing me today, however brief it was, and that it will help her somehow.  That is all I can hope for :)  If by any chance she sees this, know that it isn’t written with judgement at all – just straight from the heart.

“You're more beautiful than you know, more talented than you think, and more loved than you can imagine.”  ― Kandee Johnson

Blog Update!

Hey everyone!

I just wanted to address my NEW blog name and URL! 

I feel like my blog is about much more than fitness.  It is about life and everything that comes along with it!  So I felt it was important to update the blog name and description.

I started this blog so I could share my experiences with the world!  I love telling stories and helping others by sharing bits of my life.  Whether you are here because you want to know about the latest arrivals at Sephora or because you need some motivation to stay on track with your health and fitness goals or perhaps you stumbled onto my blog because you were looking for some advice... You have come to the right place.

This is the kind of blog that reads like a conversation with your girlfriends - it's relaxed and I hope that after you've read a few posts, you leave feeling inspired.
 
Grab a cup of tea and settle in, we have a lot to cover :)

Until next time,
Kayla

The Power of Words

Hey everyone,

I have been holding onto this post for a while now, rewriting it over and over because it just didn’t sound right.  Today I decided I am not going to edit, I am just going to write… let it all flow!  I am listening to Kacey Musgraves – LOVE HER – so here goes!

Never, ever let one person change your opinion of yourself or your work.  Many of us have been in a situation where one person just knows what buttons to push and how to make you feel like shit.  Maybe it’s an ex – partner, friend, co-worker –one person that can make you feel as small as an ant.  You know that you shouldn’t let them affect you, but it is so hard to stay strong.  Believe me, I understand this, I struggle with this too.  But I try to remind myself that “What other people think of you is none of your business”…

 

In all honesty, who gives a damn if someone in your life doesn’t like your favourite lipstick, style of clothing, or thinks they would’ve done a better job of decorating the house or working on a project at the office.  It is none of your business because it does not matter.  If you love that lipstick and you worked your hardest on that project at work, that is enough.  If you can be honest with yourself and you truly feel you did your best – then who can say a damn thing to you.

Now, of course, you must take that advice with a grain of salt.  If you are hurting yourself or those around you with your life choices, then you should certainly listen to your loved ones.  The situations I am talking about here are much less “severe”.

 

I have had this same experience countless times in my life so far.  I feel so good about something and with one breath, I am knocked down and I start believing I hadn’t done as well as I thought.  I start “negative self-talk” and in no time at all my high is a very low, low.  You need to watch for signs in yourself, and stop yourself from going down that road.  It’s a challenge, but you can do it :)

 

 

Like my last post, you need to be your own cheerleader sometimes, so be careful how you talk about yourself – you ARE listening, ya know ;)

 

 

 

 

 

Now, let’s flip the script for a minute… So far we have been talking about the “Victim” the person who is on the receiving end of the shit stick… What about the person who makes the victim feel that way? 

 

I was watching Oprah recently and she had some pretty fantastic black actresses on the show and they talked about how hard it is to be a black female actress.  Gabrielle Union shared a story about being a “Mean Girl” and it really made me think about these kinds of people.

Why do they act this way?  Why are people so mean?  Cue Kacey’s song “Step Off” (you need to YouTube this…).  What is it that makes people mean?  Gabrielle admitted that it was her own insecurities.  She said that her personal trainer was at an event with her and overheard her gossiping about another woman, with a group of her “friends”.  Gabrielle said that her trainer came up to her when she was by herself and asked her “now that all of these people have walked away, what are you left with?  Are you any richer?  Cooler?  Feel proud of yourself?  Did talking about that other woman make you feel good?  Did breaking her apart behind her back make your “friends” like you more?”  Wow… deep questions.  Gabrielle’s trainer gave her a lot of food for thought – as women we need to empower each other, not tear each other down.  Help each other succeed.  We only have so much time on this Earth, why would you want to spend it surrounded with negativity?

Whether you are the “Mean Girl (or Boy)” or the one who is affected by this person, try to stop and think about what that person is going through and why they are acting the way they are.  Maybe someone is mean to them, and they are just lashing out.  It doesn’t make it right, but it can help us understand, to some degree, why some people act the way they do.  Don’t let their mean words hurt you, forgive them and walk away.

Remember…

My favourite Pastor, Joel Osteen, often says that you need to surround yourself with positive people who will raise you up, not bring you down.  So in conclusion, remember the power of words.  The words you say to other people and the words you say to yourself.  Speak love, strength, and kindness to those around you and in turn, they will do the same to you.  Stay true to yourself and surround yourself with good people who you can count on and never let someone else take away your SHINE :)

 

Getting Through Challenging Times

Hey everyone,

 Monday July 2^nd I lost my best friend; I lost my chocolate lab, Cassius.  It was so sudden; I didn’t really have time to process what was going on.  I just had to make a lot of impossible decisions, really quickly.  My heart was shattered and I didn’t know which emotion to feel first: Anger?  Why did God take him from me?  Sadness?  I wouldn’t feel his kisses or his wet nose again.  Or Guilt?  Did I make the right decisions?

 I didn’t know how to cope, I had never lost someone that I loved before.  I stopped eating and then I ate everything in sight.  I binged and then I starved myself.  I wanted to make the pain disappear and I wasn’t considering the long term effects of my behaviour.  Now I have an extra 15lbs to work with…

I’m trying not to be too hard on myself about the extra weight, I had a slip up but I am ready to get back on track and get closer, each day, to the body I deserve :)  And if you are going through something and you are falling behind on training or you aren't eating very well, dont be too hard on yourself.  Just do your best, that's all anyone can ask of you right now!

Heaven forbid you find yourself in a situation where your heart is shattered and you just don’t know how to cope; maybe you could try a few of these things… They are helping me stay away from destructive food behaviours…

1)      Talk with a friend or family member who has gone through the same thing or is able to understand your pain

2)      Write to the person or pet you lost.  Write them a final letter describing all of your feelings and emotions.  You have to get the feelings out so you can deal with them.  Sometimes you just need one more chance to tell your loved one how much you care.  *And depending on your beliefs, you are never alone, the person or pet you lost is always with you*

3)      Go outside.  I can’t tell you how much this has helped.  Going for walks around the neighbourhood or sitting on the steps in front of my house and just watching the breeze blow through the trees and the clouds moving across the skies.  Staying cooped up in the house just doesn’t help, even though I rarely want to leave my bed these days…

4)      Grab a water bottle and hit the gym.  I never wanted to leave my bed, but deep down I knew I had to get back into my routine.  I trained with Craig at True North Barbell Monday night and it was incredibly therapeutic!  I’m not SUPER strong (yet), but I can hold my own, and this reminded me that I am physically and mentally strong.  I can get through pain.  I get push myself through anything.  When you look at it, pushing through one more rep and pushing through one more day, really aren’t that different.  You have to dig deep and find the strength to go on.

I hope you never find yourself in a situation that requires any of the tips I mentioned above, but if you do, I hope they help. 

Today I woke up with a lighter heart and I am looking forward to training again on Wednesday.  Until then I will eat my prepared meals, drink lots of water, stay outside and take it day by day :)

I've Got Friends in Strong Places...

Going to the gym can be a daunting task.  There tends to be a lot of people there and a lot of equipment that you might not know how to use.  It is easy to feel lost or out of place there, but have no fear, there is hope!  World Gym is a fantastic place to work out and I have never felt more comfortable in a gym before!  I ABSOLUTELY started off feeling like I didn’t exactly belong because I had NO CLUE what I was doing.  I’d aimlessly walk around, look at a few machines, wonder what they were for, and then I would try a few out but never really feel like I was doing it RIGHT.  The more I went, the more comfortable I felt.  But it wasn’t until I started personal training that I felt the true community or family-like feeling at the gym.  I’m not saying you need to train to feel part of the team, but it just felt that way for me.  I was there with a purpose and people could tell! 

I think my frame of mind and the vibe I was giving off was much more positive, I wasn’t confused or feeling like I was out of place.  It’s all about how your portray yourself!  If you walk into a room having already decided that this just isn’t going to go your way, it will absolutely turn out that way and everyone is going to feel that negative vibe.  If you walk into the room excited, happy, and ready to rock, you are going to give off a totally different vibe and people are going to see you as approachable and fun!  I highly recommend the 2^nd option :)

I have actually met some wonderful people now that I am training at World Gym.  They are people I know I will keep close to my heart forever.  First person being Sheryl… She works at the gym but also trains there with Craig, the person I train with!  She is incredibly kind and she is the reason I am training with Craig today!  I am indebted to her for life!  She pulls me up when I am down and cheers me on when I succeed.  She is truly an angel!  OK enough of the mushy gushy stuff lol

Next person is Craig, my personal trainer.  He is AMAZING at what he does!  The hour goes by so fast because we talk throughout the entire session (except for when I’m dying and need to focus on breathing lol) and I spend half of that time laughing!  Some personal trainers, doctors, or enthusiasts tend to have strong opinions on certain things or they tell you to do something without explanation, and it is because they have no reason… they just read it in a book somewhere or heard it from another person.  Not the case with Craig.  I ask a LOT of questions and he always has answers… Unless I come up with something totally random and weird… Like my weird feeling in my arm when I laugh LOL!  He could make each workout session totally generic, routine, and very “business” -like but he doesn’t and that is why he is so good at what he does.  You don’t feel like you are going to workout with your trainer, you feel like you are going to workout with a friend!

Mel is another girl that is so kind and she made me feel as comfortable as I could feel after my first workout with Craig when I got sick.  She sat with me until I felt better and comforted me when I was a little scared.  I’m not a fan of throwing up or not knowing what’s going on.  You don’t find people like this every day, and certainly not in any old gym. 

Finally, my newest new friend, is Crystal!  She is such an inspiration and a breath of fresh air!  She introduced herself to me the other day at the gym (she is friends with Sheryl) and we hit it off!  She projects that positive vibe I was telling you about earlier.  You just gravitate toward people like that and they brighten your day.  She also offered to be my cardio workout buddy; I thought that was just so sweet!  Now if I am feeling like cardio is the LAST thing I want to do, I can call her up and say LET’S GO! 

It is so important to build a circle of friends for yourself when going through any kind of transformation.  You need people who you can lean on for support, people who have been where you are and know that the climb is hard, but SO worth it!  It is easier to share your struggles with someone who has struggled with the same things and has succeeded!  I am so grateful to everyone I have mentioned here and I am so excited to meet even more people!  It feels so much better when you can share your successes with a bunch of people who know what it took to reach that point of success!  It also feels even MORE wonderful when you get to cheer those people on.  They are sources of friendship and support; two very important things to have in anyone’s life!

So, I hope you are all healthy and happy and if you are planning on starting up at a gym I highly recommend my gym :) but more importantly, wherever you go, make sure your chin is up and you have a smile on your face! 

I hope you enjoyed this post and I will talk to you all very soon!

~ K