Planning for Positivity

Hey everyone –

I am really struggling with what to talk about this month.  As you may know, I lost my best friend on July 2^nd… My chocolate lab Cassius lost a very short and aggressive battle with an infection.  I will never know how he contracted this infection but it attacked his arthritic elbow and traveled to his brain in a matter of 2-3 days.  I have been a shell of a person ever since.  He wasn’t just a dog; he was my brother, my best friend. 

Then came the health scare… a few people know what I have been dealing with but I have really tried to keep this all inside because I have no idea how to fix it… I’m hoping in the next few weeks I will get my cardiac tests and brain scan results back from my doctor and we can go through everything and try to get my life back on track.  Until then I can’t train, I can’t get my blood pressure up too high, and I have to do my best to stay calm.  It’s frustrating to say the least. 

This has all happened in the month of July… it might not sound like a lot to some, but it’s more than I can handle. 

This makes me think of a topic for this months’ post… Planning for Positivity

For me, I need to find inner peace… I need to find a way to keep myself centered and calm.  So I have decided I am going to take up yoga and meditation.  I had thought of it before but really didn’t think there was a need.  Now I have a need, I must find a way to bring myself to a place of calmness.  I am the type of person who needs a plan.  I need to know how I am going to proceed… there is not one single “fly by the seat of your pants” kinda bone in my body.  I have to have a plan for how I am going to remedy the things in my life that are slowing me down.  Now that I have an idea, I am going to research different yoga studios and places I can meditate… what does meditation even mean? How do I do it?  Etc.  I cannot sit here and become consumed by my broken heart or my health scare.  I need to plan for the future.  I need to plan for positivity.  I have planned a trip to South Carolina at the beginning of September.  I am going to travel to different places this year and do great things in every place my toes touch.  I am going to bring more positive energy into this world!  Remember, even if everything is going GREAT in your life and things are better than ever, you can always plan for the next big thing :)

Always continue reaching for the stars, and when you are dancing among them, start reaching for something brighter :)

Where I Began and Where I'm Headed!

I guess we have to look at where we started in order to envision where we want to go… So here ‘s where I started…

I kinda talked about where I started... but not really.  Opening up is hard but I believe that if I can help even just ONE person by sharing my experiences, it's worth it.

I was in a relationship that was not the healthiest and when I’m not happy, it shows.  I gained a substantial amount of weight and food was the only thing that comforted me.  It was a vicious circle; I ate because I was sad and I was sad because I was eating.  Then I decided to stop eating.  If eating makes me fat, not eating should make me skinny… right?  WRONG.  I gained more weight!  I was on a fast track to terrible health.  I decided I needed to take care of business so I removed myself from the unhealthy situation and started to deal with things… yes I’m talking about feelings!  It was grueling and I gained more weight because it was easier to turn to food than friends or family.  But eventually my emotions leveled out and I was able to think with a clear head.  This September I started my last year of school at WLU and I HATED how I looked and felt.  I decided to do something about the physical things now…  I went gluten free and sugar free and started working out more.  I was losing weight, inches, and gaining respect for myself!  The saying is cheesy but I really started to believe that my body was a temple and I was much more cautious and aware of what I was putting in it. 

Then came the dreadful exam period… When I am stressed I gain weight – mainly because I forget to eat or I try to live off of fruit alone. 

This is when Sheryl convinced me to make an appointment with Craig and start personal training.  I was beyond terrified to go to that consultation.  It would be the very first time I would have to tell someone how much I weighed.  The number is not grotesque but it is not healthy, nor is it where I want to be.  I couldn’t even say it, I had to write it down.  All Craig said was “OK!”  … I thought for sure there would be a “Wow, really?  Huh you don’t look like you weigh that amount.”,  “Well we have our work cut out for us.”, “This is going to take FOREVER… just so you know.”  But he didn’t say any of those things, he didn’t make any faces, and he didn’t make me feel uncomfortable.  I sat there thinking… “I’m really glad I decided to trust him…”

That is the most important part, I think.  You and your trainer need to trust each other and build some kind of relationship.  You need to know that your trainer has your best interest at heart and that you are a team working on this goal, together! 

That is what Craig and I have been doing and I am proud (a little scared but proud nonetheless) to announce that I have officially lost 50 lbs! 

I was able to lose 20 on my own from September to early December before I started with Craig and then I’ve lost 30 lbs with Craig in just 5 short weeks!  It is hard for me to see it sometimes, to be honest.  But the other day I had a major breakthrough and tried on a pair of jeans, just thinking I would see how far I had to go before I could zip them up… and they FIT!  I wore them out shopping that very day.  Nonetheless, I really appreciate when people notice it on me.  Like Dan, for instance, he saw me last week and said “Every time I see you, I see less and less of you!”  That made my WEEK!  I’m not fishing for compliments; I’m just saying that it means a lot when other people see the changes going on!

It feels incredible and I know it’s only going to feel better from here on out!  I’m not entirely sure what I want to weigh exactly, but I know that I want to be healthy, fit, and STRONG!  I don’t think a number means very much.  You could be 120lbs and STRONG or 120lbs and weak: same numbers but totally different body types.  I think I will just know when I get there!  Everyone has a part of their body that they want to focus on, not because it’s a problem area, but because it’s something they like.  For me, that is my back and upper body.  Something about a strong back and upper body just seems attractive to me.  I’ll put it this way… I want to be strong, but I don’t want to scare off or be bigger than a potential boyfriend hahaha!

I can’t wait to see where this journey takes me but I know a few things for sure: I’ll have my bubblemint gum, top secret body spray, lululemon, and AMAZING people along for the ride with me :)