Bootcamp with Sandra Compton

Hey everyone!

Wow, what an incredible week!  Everything from my toes to my eyelashes hurt from bootcamp, but I love it!  Initially I wasn’t going to write about my experience until after the 6 weeks were over, but there is just too much to say.  I would end up writing a novel if I waited! 

So I guess I should begin with how I decided to do Sandra’s bootcamp.  She has been telling me about it for a very long time.  It always sounded so nice, but for other people.  I was too scared to join!  I thought I had to be fit to do a bootcamp.  I didn’t think I would be able to do it, so why bother signing up for something if you already “know” you are going to fail?  Right?  WRONG!

Sandra and I went for coffee and had a major gab session which ended in me telling her I would do her bootcamp :)  I was still scared out of my mind, but I decided I needed her help to achieve my fitness goals.  Then Sylvia shared that poster (Bootcamp Poster) on Facebook and she asked “Who is coming with me?!” and I decided to make the commitment (you know, Facebook Official LOL) and I commented saying that I would see her there!  Immediately I went out and bought some tops and new socks.  What can I say, I love shopping, for any reason.  Going to bootcamp?  You need some new socks, girl.  Yup, I said it!

I paid the fees and then started bootcamp on March 4^th!

When I walked in the doors, I was certain that I wouldn’t know anyone but there was Jennifer and she gave me a hug and welcomed me.  It was so nice to see a familiar face as soon as I walked in!  I ended up knowing quite a few ladies, so that was really nice!  Although it doesn’t much matter, in case you are a newbie considering coming to the next session of bootcamp, and don’t know anyone, you are so busy doing your own thing, that you don’t have a chance to feel like a loaner :P

Our first task was to run 5 laps and I thought ok let’s go balls to the wall!  Bad idea lol.  I was toast after 2 laps.  I brought myself back to reality and reminded myself that I needed to ease into things.  Slow and steady wins the race, right?

Sandra offered many encouraging words throughout the evening – one of my favourites being: “Do not cheat yourself; this is YOUR workout, not mine!”  It made me push myself that extra bit further.  She was right; I shouldn’t cheat myself out of a great workout and the results that will inevitably follow, by half-assing it.  I needed to find my comfort zone and safely push past it.  I won’t get the results I want, unless I FIGHT for it!  I ended that first night of bootcamp in happy tears.  It was really hard but there I was; I finished!  I didn’t sit anything out, I didn’t let my insecurities get in the way of my goals and my dreams.  I made a promise to myself and I was sticking with it.  It felt so good :)

I had two bubble baths between Tuesday night and Thursday night; wow I was so sore!  But I LOVED it!  It was a reminder of the effort I put into my workout and it made me feel proud!

Then we had our second night, just this past Thursday and I was pumped.  Aside from the stinky boxing gloves (inner germaphobe FREAKING OUT here!) it was an incredible night.  We worked together and pushed each other to succeed.  It truly is a team of incredible women in there who are all working toward the same goal.  We ended the night with some yoga and this is where it hit me.  I had a new found respect for my coach.  I absolutely love Sandra and truly believe that she was put in my life for a reason.  And on Thursday night it clicked and I realized I hadn’t seen her in her element before.  I had only heard her talk about it.  It was beautiful and I could feel how passionate she is about her calling in life.  At that moment, during yoga, the tears began to silently fall and I was just overcome with emotion, adoration, and respect for my friend.  I am blessed to call her my friend and grateful to call her my coach.  I wouldn’t want anyone other than her beside me through this journey – love you girl!

Then there is Peaches ;) Girl, you make me laugh and make me feel SO comfortable, THANK YOU!  I told you that I think I can learn a lot from you, and I meant it.  Even though we haven’t known each other that long, I feel like you are the big sister I never had and that you are going to teach me how to be more sure of myself and be a little crazy – not so sweet and quiet all the time lol!  On the first night of bootcamp, I was one of the last to finish my walking lunges and even though you were done with your 3 laps, you came back and did them with me to the finish line so I didn’t finish alone.  You will never know how much that meant to me.  I truly appreciate your friendship, and I hope it lasts a lifetime!

Ladies, if any of you reading this are looking for a way to get out there and get healthy – I highly recommend that you join the next session of bootcamp.  I know I have only been at it for one week, but I guarantee if you sign up, you won’t regret it.  I don't need 5 more weeks to be confident in that statement.  This is a team of women who are here to support each other and work on their goals.  There is no drama, no BS.  It is hard, but if you come in ready to give it your all, you will have an entire room filled with women who will help you achieve your goals – you never finish alone.

To all of the ladies attending this session of camp, I really look forward to getting to know you better :)

xoxox

K

Hush

OK, it is story time…Last week I was at an event and had an unfortunate encounter with a tray of red wine.  It went everywhere.  I understand shit happens, but it is how you handle it that makes all the difference.

It was handled poorly by the person who spilled the tray on me and, in my opinion; management has also done a poor job of handling this.

For the first time in my life I have experienced what feels like inferiority because of my gender.  It’s a bold statement, I know.  When conversing with the management at this establishment – we will call it Venue A – I felt like I was being brushed off, not taken seriously.  It really bothered me!  My father knows the president of Venue A and once they began talking, I was completely cut out of the conversation.  It was no longer about me, it was all about him.  They wouldn't address me; they didn't ask what I thought.  I was no longer a key player here.  This is MY STUFF we are talking about here and somehow I have been pushed out of the conversation.

In my gut it feels like Venue A just wants the “men to talk it over” and leave the “emotional one” out of it.

Even when they came to pick up my damaged items at the office, they didn’t acknowledge me.  At first I thought it was because I hadn't introduced myself – fair enough.  But once I said OK here is my purse, wallet, and shoes… still nothing!  Shook my father’s hand, but not mine.It bothers me that I wasn't able to get anywhere with Venue A and it required my father’s involvement to make any headway.  I am a strong woman who should be able to handle her own business!

This has sparked a fire in me and a lot of things are going to start changing!  As you might know, I am starting bootcamp with Sandra on Tuesday March 4^th and I decided this was my time.  I am finally going to give it 100% and stick with it until I get the body I know is hiding under there.  But this will also be an attitude change for me.  

I have always loved this quote from Zooey Deschanel –

I have always been the nice girl and while that won’t change, my “vibe” will.  I vow to work on my health, fitness, body, mind, and spirit.  I will always be nice, but there will no longer be any question regarding my strength as a person.  I will continue to be tender and open.  I will cry if something moves me to do so, I wont change any of that.  

I have so many goals and plans for bootcamp, it is really an exciting time for me and marks a new chapter in my life.  Things are going to change – physically and mentally – I hope you stick by me through the journey and go along for the ride with me!

This post doesn’t say everything I want to say about Venue A… but I vented enough to be able to draw a connection and find meaning in the situation and find a way to better myself as a result.  That is enough for me :)

Life is all about finding ways to learn lessons from your experiences and coming out of the situation a better person. 

I hope that everything works out with my personal belongings and starting today, I will be taking lead on all conversations going forward.  I am not one to be hushed any longer…

Fat Shaming

Hey everyone,

This wasn’t my originally planned post, but I just need to talk about something.  Last month I posted about Fat Talk – talking down to yourself.  Today I want to talk to the bullies who partake in Fat Shaming.

Every day – honestly EVERY DAY – I see posts on Facebook by people who joke about those who are overweight.  Let me tell you something – you are NOT helping!  In fact you are a bully!  I see two main categories here:

1)      People who used to be overweight

2)      People who have never been anything but skinny – healthy or not

To those people who used to be overweight – I want to ask you this.  Do you not remember how hard it was being fat?  The emotional and physical challenges you experienced.  Did you just forget about all of that? 

It is absolutely none of anyone’s business how or why Person A is overweight.  It could be medical, it could be because of depression (eating to soothe/feel better – even if only temporary), or it could be because they really fucking like McDonalds.  Either way you have no idea and you are not owed an explanation. 

Really though, what makes you think you have the right to comment on a person's size?  Would you feel as comfortable talking about the colour of their skin?   The country they were born in?  The religion they practice?

Being overweight is not a desired state for most people.  Sure there are people out there who enjoy it – to each their own.  But for the most part people don’t actually enjoy the sideways glances, the snickering behind their back, or the judgement people place on them.

Maybe you think it is as simple as deciding to lose the weight.  Let me be really open and honest with you… I have made that decision time and time again.  You know what happens?  I open my Facebook and see some GIFs or meme’s that people have posted on Facebook about the fat girl who is doing something that only a skinny girl can do without being judged – eating a burger, wearing a bathing suit etc.  That makes me feel pretty shitty because maybe they think I am like that girl.  Maybe people think I am gross.  Maybe when they look at that meme, they think it looks like me.

So I go to the gym and immediately wonder if everyone here thinks the same thing… Then I spend most of my workout wondering - am I sweating too much? 

Some days I have high enough self-esteem to ignore those people, and some days I can’t overlook it.  I am getting stronger as a person each day and have channeled that emotion into something positive.  I refuse to spend the rest of my life feeling like I am unworthy because my body doesn’t match my beautiful heart.  I struggle daily but I have committed to changing my life!  I really don’t need anyone making this any harder. (and neither does anyone else who is trying to lose weight)

Every winter, nearing the New Year, posts about “New Year’s Resolutions” start showing up on Social Media – and a lot of people say something about “OMG the gym is going to be SO busy—but don’t worry everything will be back to normal in February”.  Seriously?  Did you ever stop to think that that overweight man or woman is intimidated or even scared to go into “Your House” and feel like an outsider?  You look like you belong there – you know what you are doing.

There has got to be something that makes you feel unsure of yourself – think of a scenario in which you wouldn’t be the most comfortable or the most skilled.  Take a minute and think about that.  Then think about how you would feel if people passive aggressively called you out on it all of the time.  They post stuff about how you won’t succeed anyway etc.  Does that feel nice?  Maybe you don’t give a shit about what other people think – good for you!  But empathize with those who do care – try to put yourself in their shoes.  Do you think that helps them?

I encourage all of you who call the gym Home, to help the newbies – make them feel welcome.  I am not suggesting that you walk up to the biggest person in the gym and start telling them what to do.  I am simple suggesting that you smile, say hello – make them feel like they aren’t stupid for showing up.  Make them feel like this is an OK place to be.

You have no idea how powerful and how influential your actions are – and this goes for everyone in all parts of your life.  Be nice to people.  You don’t know everyone’s story.  You might just change someone’s life for the better with one smile :)

I am trying to think of all of the comments or thoughts people will have regarding this post, so I just want to say one more thing.  It is true that you cannot control how other people feel about things in life.  Some people look for a reason to have a problem with someone ex.) You are zoned out and happen to be looking directly at someone but you don’t notice until they say “Can I help you?!”.  You weren’t giving that person the stink eye lol it was a mistake.  But some people just jump at the chance to create drama. 

I am not talking about those situations.  I am talking about the situations where you choose to behave in a manner that can offend or hurt someone, and you know it.

We are all adults here and bullying in any form is wounding.  I challenge you to think twice and stand up when your buddy says something rude about another person – in person or behind the keys of the keyboard.  We aren’t in high school anymore where we need to worry about our friends accepting us.  If they truly are a friend, they will appreciate and respect your opinion.

With that being said, all of us can stand up for one another.  If you see someone being rude, stop them.  It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic; you can just let them know bullying isn’t cool.

I honestly hope that you read this and take something from it.  And if you think I am just "too sensitive" and making "too big of a deal" out of this, then I encourage you to read this again and pay attention this time.

 

Sincerely,
Kayla

The Power of Words

Hey everyone,

I have been holding onto this post for a while now, rewriting it over and over because it just didn’t sound right.  Today I decided I am not going to edit, I am just going to write… let it all flow!  I am listening to Kacey Musgraves – LOVE HER – so here goes!

Never, ever let one person change your opinion of yourself or your work.  Many of us have been in a situation where one person just knows what buttons to push and how to make you feel like shit.  Maybe it’s an ex – partner, friend, co-worker –one person that can make you feel as small as an ant.  You know that you shouldn’t let them affect you, but it is so hard to stay strong.  Believe me, I understand this, I struggle with this too.  But I try to remind myself that “What other people think of you is none of your business”…

 

In all honesty, who gives a damn if someone in your life doesn’t like your favourite lipstick, style of clothing, or thinks they would’ve done a better job of decorating the house or working on a project at the office.  It is none of your business because it does not matter.  If you love that lipstick and you worked your hardest on that project at work, that is enough.  If you can be honest with yourself and you truly feel you did your best – then who can say a damn thing to you.

Now, of course, you must take that advice with a grain of salt.  If you are hurting yourself or those around you with your life choices, then you should certainly listen to your loved ones.  The situations I am talking about here are much less “severe”.

 

I have had this same experience countless times in my life so far.  I feel so good about something and with one breath, I am knocked down and I start believing I hadn’t done as well as I thought.  I start “negative self-talk” and in no time at all my high is a very low, low.  You need to watch for signs in yourself, and stop yourself from going down that road.  It’s a challenge, but you can do it :)

 

 

Like my last post, you need to be your own cheerleader sometimes, so be careful how you talk about yourself – you ARE listening, ya know ;)

 

 

 

 

 

Now, let’s flip the script for a minute… So far we have been talking about the “Victim” the person who is on the receiving end of the shit stick… What about the person who makes the victim feel that way? 

 

I was watching Oprah recently and she had some pretty fantastic black actresses on the show and they talked about how hard it is to be a black female actress.  Gabrielle Union shared a story about being a “Mean Girl” and it really made me think about these kinds of people.

Why do they act this way?  Why are people so mean?  Cue Kacey’s song “Step Off” (you need to YouTube this…).  What is it that makes people mean?  Gabrielle admitted that it was her own insecurities.  She said that her personal trainer was at an event with her and overheard her gossiping about another woman, with a group of her “friends”.  Gabrielle said that her trainer came up to her when she was by herself and asked her “now that all of these people have walked away, what are you left with?  Are you any richer?  Cooler?  Feel proud of yourself?  Did talking about that other woman make you feel good?  Did breaking her apart behind her back make your “friends” like you more?”  Wow… deep questions.  Gabrielle’s trainer gave her a lot of food for thought – as women we need to empower each other, not tear each other down.  Help each other succeed.  We only have so much time on this Earth, why would you want to spend it surrounded with negativity?

Whether you are the “Mean Girl (or Boy)” or the one who is affected by this person, try to stop and think about what that person is going through and why they are acting the way they are.  Maybe someone is mean to them, and they are just lashing out.  It doesn’t make it right, but it can help us understand, to some degree, why some people act the way they do.  Don’t let their mean words hurt you, forgive them and walk away.

Remember…

My favourite Pastor, Joel Osteen, often says that you need to surround yourself with positive people who will raise you up, not bring you down.  So in conclusion, remember the power of words.  The words you say to other people and the words you say to yourself.  Speak love, strength, and kindness to those around you and in turn, they will do the same to you.  Stay true to yourself and surround yourself with good people who you can count on and never let someone else take away your SHINE :)

 

Personal Post: My Changing Body Shape

Today was one of those days where I just wasn’t comfortable in my own skin.  I wasn’t bummed out or anything, but I just wasn’t comfortable in my clothes at all!  In one of my earlier posts I talked about not getting down on yourself when your body changes shape and you can sometimes look worse than before you started; only for a little while.  Well, that is happening to me now!  I am starting to slim down all over my body but I am thinning out a lot from my ribs and up.  This makes my hips look worse!  The thinning out on top has really accentuated my hips and it just looks funny.  Well not funny, more like a big ‘ol spare tire.  I felt uncomfortable during my workout today and was tugging at my shirt all the time; not fun! 

My TShirt dilemma is frustrating, I must admit… I have a bunch of Yoga Tee’s from Joe Fresh and while I like them, they stretch out so much during the course of my workout I end up looking like a drowned rat by the end of it.  They made me feel really uncomfortable!  So I thought I would try something a little bit more fitted, and I like the feel of it while standing.  But as soon as I have to sit or lay down for a leg press I feel all uncomfortable again!  Gravity is not on my side at the moment.  I am on the search for the perfect workout tee to get me through this next part of training until things start to even out again!  I know this is all part of the game and I was expecting it; so it wasn’t a mood crusher or anything, just a pain in my butt!  One way to look at it is to focus on the positives: I’ve lost a lot of “padding” in my upper body and it’s really starting to slim down!  Rather than just focusing on how big my hips look.  It is all in how you look at it… Glass half full or glass half empty!

I think being prepared for these changes has really helped me keep things in perspective.  I can guarantee that if Craig hadn’t told me that I might look worse before I look better, I would be a ball of tears!  So I hope that you really absorb this info and take it from me and my accentuated spare tire LOL that it DOES feel weird and messes with your head a little bit; but your body WILL even out and you will LOVE the results!  It’s like a mini goal (a smaller goal within my BIG goal) and I will have one more thing to celebrate when my hips DO thin out… and they WILL because I am going to give it my all every time I go to the gym and I am going to keep my goals in the forefront of my mind :)

I hope you enjoyed this post and I will talk to you all very soon!

K

Motivation: How to Find it and How to Keep it Alive!

Motivation is hard to come by some days but you have to dig down deep and find it!  There are a lot of ways to help yourself find that motivation and desire to keep going.  I thought I would share a few of my faves with you! 

Motivational Pictures:

I have a file on my laptop with pictures that motivate me and remind me that what I am doing is an amazing thing and I should get out there are DO IT!

Motivational Videos:

This video is so motivational it makes me emotional!  The message is so important and really helps you find that drive to get up and hit the gym or go for a walk/jog/run, whatever!  Show everyone HOW GREAT YOU ARE!

This man, Nick, has the most beautiful spirit and he reminds me to get out there and take advantage of the life I have been given!  I have two arms, two legs, and the ability to do anything I put my mind to.  Nick does not have his limbs yet he loves fishing, golfing, and swimming!  He LOVES living life!  He has so much LIFE and really pushes you to LIVE YOUR LIFE! 

Maybe you don’t have one, some, or any of your limbs.  Maybe you are in a wheelchair.  Or maybe you feel like you are too far gone; there is too much weight to lose so you might as well not even try.  Or maybe, you are just too sad to get up off of the couch and go to the gym.  Being overweight has an extreme effect on your emotions and your self esteem.  But you have to find the motivation, the courage, and the strength to get out there!  Believe me when I say that you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to!  I know we have all heard it before but it is so true!  You don’t need to have a lot of money or a lot of time to start losing weight.  I know that is something a lot of people use as an excuse; I certainly have.  We all hear people say they don’t have time to go to the gym or go for a walk.  We have homework or deadlines to meet at work and we have to work late.  While I don’t deny that those things are very real and very important; I ask you this, what is more important than YOU?  Your body is everything!  Without your health you wont have to worry about that homework!  So MAKE time for yourself and take care of your body.  You will actually find that a healthy BODY promotes a healthy MIND and you will be able to accomplish your goals faster and better!  Your mind will be clear and you will be happier!  Feeling like you are “too far gone” is so far from the truth, it doesn’t even mimic it.  It doesn’t matter if you have to lose 10, 20, 50, 100, 300, or 500+ pounds; YOU ARE WORTH IT!  You are never too far gone and you should never give up on yourself!

Now you might say to me, “Kayla, I just don’t feel like it today.”  That is when I would say to you, “take a look at your motivational pictures and/or a motivational video.  Find your drive, deep down inside, and get out there!”  You don’t have to run a marathon or anything extreme, but just getting out there and moving is great!  Your body will thank you for going to the gym and doing your cardio, or whatever it may be.  You will feel energized and PROUD of yourself!  Every time you go for that walk or go to the gym you have ACCOMPLISHED something and it deserves recognition and celebration!  You should feel good about yourself and be proud of your hard work!

Now, if those things don’t work for you and you are more of a physical touch kind of person, try this idea out.  Get yourself a dress or pair of pants or shirt that you want to fit into.  We’ll call it your Goal Outfit.  Keep trying it on and noticing the differences each time you try it on.  Maybe this week it feels a little better in the thighs, hell maybe this week is the first time you can get your thighs INTO the pants!  They will be your motivation!  Each time you try them on you will see that you are getting closer and closer to your goal!  You can do this!

I hope this post reminds you, no matter where you are at in your goals, to never give up!  Always keep pushing yourself and finding that motivation.  Be the BEST you can be!

I hope you enjoyed this post and I will talk to you all very soon!

K