Hush

OK, it is story time…Last week I was at an event and had an unfortunate encounter with a tray of red wine.  It went everywhere.  I understand shit happens, but it is how you handle it that makes all the difference.

It was handled poorly by the person who spilled the tray on me and, in my opinion; management has also done a poor job of handling this.

For the first time in my life I have experienced what feels like inferiority because of my gender.  It’s a bold statement, I know.  When conversing with the management at this establishment – we will call it Venue A – I felt like I was being brushed off, not taken seriously.  It really bothered me!  My father knows the president of Venue A and once they began talking, I was completely cut out of the conversation.  It was no longer about me, it was all about him.  They wouldn't address me; they didn't ask what I thought.  I was no longer a key player here.  This is MY STUFF we are talking about here and somehow I have been pushed out of the conversation.

In my gut it feels like Venue A just wants the “men to talk it over” and leave the “emotional one” out of it.

Even when they came to pick up my damaged items at the office, they didn’t acknowledge me.  At first I thought it was because I hadn't introduced myself – fair enough.  But once I said OK here is my purse, wallet, and shoes… still nothing!  Shook my father’s hand, but not mine.It bothers me that I wasn't able to get anywhere with Venue A and it required my father’s involvement to make any headway.  I am a strong woman who should be able to handle her own business!

This has sparked a fire in me and a lot of things are going to start changing!  As you might know, I am starting bootcamp with Sandra on Tuesday March 4^th and I decided this was my time.  I am finally going to give it 100% and stick with it until I get the body I know is hiding under there.  But this will also be an attitude change for me.  

I have always loved this quote from Zooey Deschanel –

I have always been the nice girl and while that won’t change, my “vibe” will.  I vow to work on my health, fitness, body, mind, and spirit.  I will always be nice, but there will no longer be any question regarding my strength as a person.  I will continue to be tender and open.  I will cry if something moves me to do so, I wont change any of that.  

I have so many goals and plans for bootcamp, it is really an exciting time for me and marks a new chapter in my life.  Things are going to change – physically and mentally – I hope you stick by me through the journey and go along for the ride with me!

This post doesn’t say everything I want to say about Venue A… but I vented enough to be able to draw a connection and find meaning in the situation and find a way to better myself as a result.  That is enough for me :)

Life is all about finding ways to learn lessons from your experiences and coming out of the situation a better person. 

I hope that everything works out with my personal belongings and starting today, I will be taking lead on all conversations going forward.  I am not one to be hushed any longer…

Blast from the Past

Hey everyone!

I was at the mall picking up a few things that I had forgotten to grab yesterday and all of the sudden I felt something in the pit of my stomach, saying STOP.  I slowed down and turned to my right and I saw someone I haven’t seen in many, many years.  I will leave out names, connections, etc. as I don’t want any privacy issues – I might share a lot of my life, but that’s just me.

Anyway, I wanted to just keep walking but I couldn’t, I literally felt a pull toward her.  She was talking to someone and I interrupted and I immediately regretted it but I also wouldn’t have changed a thing.  I feel like I interrupted that conversation for a reason.  It was just sketchy.

We walked for a bit and all I could think of is OMG I just want to hug her and tell her it’s going to be okay… Perhaps I should preface this by saying that I am INCREDIBLY in touch with emotion.  When I see someone hurting, it rips my heart in half.  Sometimes I can feel how much they are hurting even if they don’t show it on their face – that was what happened here.  I have known this person for so long and seeing her today and remembering what she was like before, broke my heart.

I will never know for certain what that conversation I interrupted was about, or what is really going on in her life – but man… I am so glad I made certain decisions in my life that led me down an entirely different path.

It got me thinking how close I was to living the same type of life as her – having her reality be my own.  It shook me to my core.  We are ALL one decision away from changing our lives – for better or worse.

That is pretty scary when you think of it! 

I truly believe that things happen for a reason, and I believe that the universe just aligned and I was destined to see her.  Because to be honest, I couldn’t find a parking spot at the mall to save my life so I was just going to leave and come back later in the week.  I decided to make one more loop around and there was a spot.  I almost didn’t go in there.  This opportunity was almost missed.

Decisions are hard and they are scary sometimes, but I think it should be that way, for some things.  Decisions should require time, thought, and consideration.  You are painting the picture of your life, one brush stroke at a time.  Be conscious of that.  Making the decision to go back to school is hard, expensive, and means you will have to sacrifice a lot – but if you give it enough time and thought, you will be able to decide if it is the best choice for you.  Maybe it will open more doors for you!  Same goes for deciding to live a healthier lifestyle – it is hard but it is worth it.  It also requires daily decisions to stay healthy.  It doesn’t just happen after you “decide to be healthy” – it is a work in progress!

My point in sharing this with you is just to remind you that we are in charge of our lives.  Things may happen that are out of our control, but you can always change the situation you are in.

Anyway, I hope that she got something from seeing me today, however brief it was, and that it will help her somehow.  That is all I can hope for :)  If by any chance she sees this, know that it isn’t written with judgement at all – just straight from the heart.

“You're more beautiful than you know, more talented than you think, and more loved than you can imagine.”  ― Kandee Johnson

So, I did a juice cleanse

It’s review time!

 So, I did a juice cleanse.

 I have heard so much about juice cleanses – how amazing they are and then some talk about how horrible they are.  If you know me, you know I had to find out for myself.  I can never just take someone’s word for it.  So I did some research to find a local Juicer – I wanted my first juice cleanse to be excuse free, so I wanted someone else to do the juicing.  I came across Total Cleanse out of Toronto and they had a 14% off New Year deal so I jumped at the opportunity. 

I am going to review the experience as well as a quick review of Total Cleanse.

Juicing Experience:

I ordered the following juices for 5 days – Green Energy, Very Berry, Red Energy, & Lemon Rush.

Green Energy - Includes: Fresh cucumber, celery, kale, lettuces, parsley, lemon, apple, romaine lettuce

Very Berry - Includes: Strawberry, pineapple, blueberry, apple, lemon

Red Energy - Includes: Beet, carrot, cucumber, apple, lemon, ginger

Lemon Rush - Includes: Lemon, cayenne, maple syrup, filtered water

The juices were pretty tasty, but I have definitely created better juices at home.  The Green Energy was very green.  For me it was just too much – I would’ve really appreciated more apple and less cucumber.  The Very Berry was FANTASTIC!  It tasted like pink Starburst.  However, after day 2 – it became WAY too sweet!  Red Energy was pretty hard to get through – the beets tasted like dirt.  Ick!  Finally, the Lemon Rush was very refreshing but way too spicy.  I really enjoyed the maple syrup – it was a really nice aftertaste. 

Day One – I was very excited to get started.  Green Energy #1 – down the hatch!  Lemon Rush #1 – OMG SPICY!  Very Berry – Delicious!  Lemon Rush #2 – Still REALLY spicy!  Green Energy #2 – I miss hot food…

When I started the day I was very excited to do this!  Totally pumped and ready to go!  By the end of the day the withdrawal symptoms began to set in and it was horrible.  I don’t mean “wahhh I want chocolate…”  It was BAD!  I had a nasty headache, bad mood, intense cravings for anything and everything, and I wanted to give up.  I knew that it was going to be hard but I had no idea I would go through sugar withdrawals.  I had the sweats and I looked like I belonged in a detox room at rehab next to Lindsay Lohan.  I pushed through and made it to day two.

Day Two – Ugh.  I am the type of person who loves (temperature) hot food.  I hate cold food.  So waking up to a cold glass of grass juice was not my idea of fun, but I had a goal and I was determined not to give up.  I powered down my first juice and made it through to the third juice, Very Berry.  After that one, I just didn’t want to eat/drink at all.  It wasn’t fun and exciting and I didn’t feel like the benefits would outweigh the challenges.  I kept pushing through!

Day Three – Meh.  I didn’t really want to juice, so I just didn’t eat or drink anything.  I had a few sips here and there.  That was it.  It immediately brought back those familiar demons… “Don’t eat food, it will make you fat”, “As soon as you start eating again you are going to gain 50 lbs… better get used to feeling hungry”… Thankfully I was able to recognize that slippery slope and I cut the cleanse off after that.  Saturday morning I woke up and had breakfast – real, hot, delicious healthy food :)

Now – I know that all sounds really negative… but I did learn/experience a few things that made it worth it for me.

1)      Foods that my body doesn’t respond well to

a.       Gluten sucks.  That is all.

 

 

b.      Dairy – we aren’t full out enemies, but I really dislike you.

c.       Sugar – It’s over!  I’m sorry, it’s not me.  It’s you.

2)      Mental Strength

a.       Even though I wanted to throw in the towel, I kept pushing and I showed myself that I can take myself as far as I want to!

b.      On the flip side, I also recognized that I can stop myself from going down a slippery slope.  I don’t need to give in to those food issues – I am stronger than that.

3)      10 pounds GONE!

a.       I thought for sure this would come back as soon as I started eating solid food again, but I have managed to keep it off!  It’s a pretty sweet way to end a pretty tough challenge!

 

Days After the Cleanse – Pumped.  I’m glad that I did the cleanse but I don’t think I would recommend it.  It is almost more of a mental challenge than physical and I don’t think it is a healthy choice for women who are on their journey to a healthier body.  I DO, however, highly recommend including juicing into your everyday lifestyle.  Juicing (or making smoothies) is a fantastic way to get in a lot of nutrients that can be a bit of a challenge to do when eating them whole.  Plus I love having juice with my breakfast and I can do it guilt-free when I make it all myself.  I don’t have to worry about added sugars and/or concentrated juices from the grocery store.  I know exactly what is going into my juice :)

Total Cleanse:

I wasn’t blown away by Total Cleanse.  Without getting into all of the nit-picky details, I would suggest looking into all of your options (if you are interested in trying a cleanse) and asking a lot of questions.  Make your own informed decisions :)

Bottom Line:

I would not recommend a juice-only cleanse, but I would recommend including juicing/smoothies into your daily routine!

Fat Shaming

Hey everyone,

This wasn’t my originally planned post, but I just need to talk about something.  Last month I posted about Fat Talk – talking down to yourself.  Today I want to talk to the bullies who partake in Fat Shaming.

Every day – honestly EVERY DAY – I see posts on Facebook by people who joke about those who are overweight.  Let me tell you something – you are NOT helping!  In fact you are a bully!  I see two main categories here:

1)      People who used to be overweight

2)      People who have never been anything but skinny – healthy or not

To those people who used to be overweight – I want to ask you this.  Do you not remember how hard it was being fat?  The emotional and physical challenges you experienced.  Did you just forget about all of that? 

It is absolutely none of anyone’s business how or why Person A is overweight.  It could be medical, it could be because of depression (eating to soothe/feel better – even if only temporary), or it could be because they really fucking like McDonalds.  Either way you have no idea and you are not owed an explanation. 

Really though, what makes you think you have the right to comment on a person's size?  Would you feel as comfortable talking about the colour of their skin?   The country they were born in?  The religion they practice?

Being overweight is not a desired state for most people.  Sure there are people out there who enjoy it – to each their own.  But for the most part people don’t actually enjoy the sideways glances, the snickering behind their back, or the judgement people place on them.

Maybe you think it is as simple as deciding to lose the weight.  Let me be really open and honest with you… I have made that decision time and time again.  You know what happens?  I open my Facebook and see some GIFs or meme’s that people have posted on Facebook about the fat girl who is doing something that only a skinny girl can do without being judged – eating a burger, wearing a bathing suit etc.  That makes me feel pretty shitty because maybe they think I am like that girl.  Maybe people think I am gross.  Maybe when they look at that meme, they think it looks like me.

So I go to the gym and immediately wonder if everyone here thinks the same thing… Then I spend most of my workout wondering - am I sweating too much? 

Some days I have high enough self-esteem to ignore those people, and some days I can’t overlook it.  I am getting stronger as a person each day and have channeled that emotion into something positive.  I refuse to spend the rest of my life feeling like I am unworthy because my body doesn’t match my beautiful heart.  I struggle daily but I have committed to changing my life!  I really don’t need anyone making this any harder. (and neither does anyone else who is trying to lose weight)

Every winter, nearing the New Year, posts about “New Year’s Resolutions” start showing up on Social Media – and a lot of people say something about “OMG the gym is going to be SO busy—but don’t worry everything will be back to normal in February”.  Seriously?  Did you ever stop to think that that overweight man or woman is intimidated or even scared to go into “Your House” and feel like an outsider?  You look like you belong there – you know what you are doing.

There has got to be something that makes you feel unsure of yourself – think of a scenario in which you wouldn’t be the most comfortable or the most skilled.  Take a minute and think about that.  Then think about how you would feel if people passive aggressively called you out on it all of the time.  They post stuff about how you won’t succeed anyway etc.  Does that feel nice?  Maybe you don’t give a shit about what other people think – good for you!  But empathize with those who do care – try to put yourself in their shoes.  Do you think that helps them?

I encourage all of you who call the gym Home, to help the newbies – make them feel welcome.  I am not suggesting that you walk up to the biggest person in the gym and start telling them what to do.  I am simple suggesting that you smile, say hello – make them feel like they aren’t stupid for showing up.  Make them feel like this is an OK place to be.

You have no idea how powerful and how influential your actions are – and this goes for everyone in all parts of your life.  Be nice to people.  You don’t know everyone’s story.  You might just change someone’s life for the better with one smile :)

I am trying to think of all of the comments or thoughts people will have regarding this post, so I just want to say one more thing.  It is true that you cannot control how other people feel about things in life.  Some people look for a reason to have a problem with someone ex.) You are zoned out and happen to be looking directly at someone but you don’t notice until they say “Can I help you?!”.  You weren’t giving that person the stink eye lol it was a mistake.  But some people just jump at the chance to create drama. 

I am not talking about those situations.  I am talking about the situations where you choose to behave in a manner that can offend or hurt someone, and you know it.

We are all adults here and bullying in any form is wounding.  I challenge you to think twice and stand up when your buddy says something rude about another person – in person or behind the keys of the keyboard.  We aren’t in high school anymore where we need to worry about our friends accepting us.  If they truly are a friend, they will appreciate and respect your opinion.

With that being said, all of us can stand up for one another.  If you see someone being rude, stop them.  It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic; you can just let them know bullying isn’t cool.

I honestly hope that you read this and take something from it.  And if you think I am just "too sensitive" and making "too big of a deal" out of this, then I encourage you to read this again and pay attention this time.

 

Sincerely,
Kayla

Shut Down Fat Talk

Hello everyone!

I don’t always practice everything I preach when it comes to this particular topic, but I think it’s important that I start, TODAY.  I hope that after watching the attached video and reading my post, you will try to do this with me.  A little bit each day makes a difference.

Here is the video:

 

 

So you know how you wake up and immediately decide it’s going to be a “fat day”… where nothing you put on looks good and you think everything makes you look fat?  Then you proceed to talk down to yourself during breakfast, getting ready, the whole drive to the office, and WATCH OUT when you finally get home from work and take those jeans off!

Do you understand how detrimental that is to your health?  Mental and physical.  I’m not saying it’s not okay to have an off day – but I am saying it’s not okay to bully yourself about it.  

OK fine, maybe those jeans are a little tight – rather than bashing yourself about the muffin top make a healthy decision to do something about it.  Are the jeans actually just too small or did you just eat a few extra slices of pumpkin pie over the holidays?  If the jeans are from high school and you just don’t want to let them go – PLEASE DONATE THEM!  You aren’t a teenager anymore.  Buy some jeans that fit and flatter your body, you deserve it!  If the pie is to blame for the tight jeans – take a deep breath and make a plan.  Tell yourself that you are going to make sure you do these three things every day to help get yourself back on track:

1.       Stay hydrated!

2.       Fuel your body with healthy foods and do NOT, I repeat DO NOT withhold food from yourself – that will not help you!

3.       Get as much sleep as you can (7-8 hours if possible!)

If you can add in some exercise too, even better, but don’t punish yourself.  Please.  Just commit to being healthy and getting yourself back on track.  You are allowed to enjoy life and the delicious treats that come along with it ;)

Fat talk is something I don’t quite understand – I mean I do it – but I don’t get it…

Why on earth would we sit here and rip ourselves to shreds?  It doesn’t even sound productive.  You certainly wouldn’t tell another person that they looked really fat and ugly today, would you?  So then why do we feel that it is okay to say it to ourselves? 

If your daughter (sister, cousin, friend etc.) came home and told you that someone told her that she had a disgusting muffin top and she should’ve just stayed home in bed today – would you accept that?  Absolutely not is what I’m thinking…

We need to shut down fat talk. 

We need to start loving ourselves just the way we are.  That isn’t to say that you can’t make improvements (in a healthy capacity of course), but we need to accept that the body we have right now is worth just as much love, adoration, and respect as the body we might be working toward.  Even if you HAVE the body you worked hard for, it is time you start to appreciate it and love it unconditionally.

You are still the same person deep inside (heart, personality, humour etc.) no matter what package it comes in.  Don’t wait until you are “there” to start loving yourself.  Love who you are now!

Take a moment and think of all the young girls in your life - you are a role model to them whether you know it or not.  Every time you talk down to yourself you are teaching them that it is ok.  Kate Winslet recently said in an article that she makes a point of talking about all of the things she loves about her body, in front of her daughter so that it becomes NORMAL to her.  This is what we should all strive for.  Right now the norm is trash talking your own body…  Ugh look at my muffin top, ugh my thighs touch, ugh blah blah blah.

Break the circle - love your body - start speaking words of love and respect to yourself about your body.  For example:  I love the way my bum looks in these jeans!

If you have a sister or daughter (or anyone - boy or girl) in your family, make sure they hear it.  It is important that we show people it is OKAY to be proud of your body!  We have become a world of thinner is better and talking about your muffin top makes you cool in some twisted way.  We need to change that!

Can you imagine how this world would change if we just starting loving ourselves unconditionally and decided we no longer accept the current, unhealthy, definition of beauty?  Oh how things would change!

Anyway, this is starting to get long… I don’t want you to feel like you are reading a novel ;) 

I posted a challenge on Facebook Dec 16^th asking everyone to choose LOVE today – Dec 17^th.  I am now challenging you to Shut Down Fat Talk.  If you start talking or thinking negatively about your body – recognize it and turn that bullying behaviour around and say something nice to yourself about your body.  If you hear someone else bullying themselves about their body, compliment them instead.  I truly believe if we start to practice positivity, we can change the way women all around the world think of their bodies.  So, will you accept my challenge?  I encourage all of you to try :)

Guys, I am not purposely avoiding you – I know men have a lot to deal with too when it comes to body image and what is considered “sexy”.  Please read this with him/he/etc. in place of any her/she etc. mentioned above – this is for you too!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post!

If you enjoyed it and you accept my challenge, please like the post on Facebook so I know!  I will check in with those who “like” the post to see how you’re doing :)

Lots of love,
Kayla

 

 

 



 

Blog Update!

Hey everyone!

I just wanted to address my NEW blog name and URL! 

I feel like my blog is about much more than fitness.  It is about life and everything that comes along with it!  So I felt it was important to update the blog name and description.

I started this blog so I could share my experiences with the world!  I love telling stories and helping others by sharing bits of my life.  Whether you are here because you want to know about the latest arrivals at Sephora or because you need some motivation to stay on track with your health and fitness goals or perhaps you stumbled onto my blog because you were looking for some advice... You have come to the right place.

This is the kind of blog that reads like a conversation with your girlfriends - it's relaxed and I hope that after you've read a few posts, you leave feeling inspired.
 
Grab a cup of tea and settle in, we have a lot to cover :)

Until next time,
Kayla

Oil Pulling with Coconut Oil

*Disclaimer – I am not a doctor and my opinions are just that – opinions.  Not suggestions or anything more.  Please consult your physician before making any changes.*

Hey everyone!

I have so many things to blog about; I just don’t know where to start!  I have had epiphany after epiphany in the last month or so and it has really awakened something in me… My quest for health had really turned inward; yes I want to lift and get toned and strong, but I also have a strong desire to care for everything beyond the muscle etc. 

I love to research – I am a knowledge fiend… I crave information.  If I get onto something, it is not uncommon to find me on my laptop researching at all hours of the night.  So, my quest for natural health began…  I wanted to find ways to improve my health with some easy steps I can add to my day.  This led me to oil pulling…  The oil acts like a cleanser in your mouth, pulling out bacteria, viruses, and toxins.  Think of it like oil for your car – it collects all of the debris and gunk and when you replace the oil, it takes all of the bad stuff with it, leaving your car running smoothly.

I had heard a lot about oil pulling and the benefits, but it just seemed so strange to me.  Who wants to swish oil around in their mouth – YUCK!  But as I felt yet another sinus infection coming on, I thought I might as well give it a shot.  I went to Zehrs today and picked up some coconut oil and before I jumped into bed I took a scoop, let it melt in my mouth, and started swishing.  Pushing and pulling it between my teeth, just like any other mouth wash.  Surprisingly, it didn’t feel greasy at all!

I have decided to record my experience so I can look back and see how much has changed!

Oil Pulling – Day One:

Symptoms:  for the last few days I have been feeling off, like I am catching a cold.  Then the sinus pressure and pain began to build.  As soon as I lay back or tilt my head to one side, I get stuffed up.  Ugh.  I am also developing a slight cough.  I can feel my achy lungs through my back.

Experience: my first time oil pulling was interesting.  I didn’t know exactly what to expect, but I am fairly certain my experience was typical!  I set the timer on my phone for 20 minutes and I watched some YouTube videos while I swished!  After about 10-15 minutes the coconut oil stopped tasting so coconut-y and began tasting metallic.  I can only assume this was the taste of all the bad stuff being pulled from my mouth.  (uh… GROSS!)  I also noticed that I had a strong urge to clear my throat; it was phlegmy.  (Double GROSS!)  Anyway, I continued until the timer went off – woo hoo!  Success!  I did it :)  I rinsed my mouth out with warm water and then proceeded to brush my teeth.  Everything was looking good!  Then, it started – OMG I think I am going to be sick! – BARF CITY!  Oh man, it hit me like a truck!  Within a few moments though, I was done being sick and I felt absolutely fine.  (Background:  I have a very strong stomach – it takes a lot for me to throw up).  Apparently I have some detoxing to do… (they say this is typical)

Benefits/Changes/Results:  As I type this I can feel my gums tingling as though they have just had a really good cleaning and are a tad bit irritated with me.  They don’t hurt or anything like that – I can just feel a slight difference.  My sinus pressure and pain are still the same – no changes there.  My teeth do feel extra clean – like straight from the dentist clean.  Woo hoo!

OK guys, that is it for my first update!  I will update my progress weekly, as I don’t expect a whole lot to change day to day.  We shall see!

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to leave them below!  Or if you also practice oil pulling and would like to share your experience or any tips I would love to hear from you :)

Until next time,
Kayla

Coconut Oil