Wow where do I begin! Tonight was absolutely amazing. We did some circuit work tonight and one of the things we had to do was pull-ups. Now, I will be the first to admit that those are not my strong suit. Sandra was with me every step of the way, but she made me do the work. She was there when I needed her but she wasn't going to make it easy. That's not her style. She teaches you to believe in yourself and have faith that you will succeed. My legs were shaking like there was an earthquake under my feet. I was terrified, but that wasn't going to stop me. I immediately thought of one of my Instagram posts - NO FUCKING LIMITS! #GoHard
So that's what I did. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't a 10/10 but I did it and I am so proud of myself! I knew deep down that I wasn't going to let myself fall. But it was very comforting knowing I had my coach right behind me. I could hear her whispering and encouraging me. It meant more than I can put into words. Thank you :)
I nearly burst into tears when so many of the bootcamp girls gave me a high five or said encouraging words to me. I was blown away by their kindness and support. Everyone is so quick to cheer each other on, it was heartwarming :)
Near the end of the night we were pushing the sled outside, one at a time and surprisingly I wasn't nervous at all. The old me would've been way to nervous to do the task and I probably would've purposely sucked at it as to not draw attention to myself. Twisted eh? Nah not anymore! I pushed that thing with all of my might and got a lineup of high fives when I was done! It felt amazing! I absolutely love bootcamp. I love the challenge AND I love making new friends! I don't want this last part to sound sappy, but I have never had people cheer me on before. It's largely because I didn't do sports or anything as a kid so the support of a team feels absolutely incredible. Thank you ladies! I hope I can encourage you just as much :)
My final fave of the night was looking at my palms and realizing I was getting my callouses back. I wear them like a badge of honour. I love them. They are a physical reminder of how hard I am pushing myself. I don't really care if anyone else likes them or thinks they are gross. They are cool to me :)
Tonight was really challenging but it was also so much fun. I had a great night and I cannot wait for Thursday :) I can't wait to see what other challenges I can face and accomplish!
I also posted another picture on Instagram saying that Fear is a Liar and it is SO true! My fear used to hold me back in so many parts of my life. Fear is alike a little birdie in your ear telling you that you can't do it. But please don't believe it. Don't listen to your fear, it's all lies. If you want something and you are scared; that's ok! Do your best, push hard. But never give up. Heck I even signed up for my first 5K on my birthday (June 14). Can I run that much? No way! Am I going to try? Yes, absolutely! I know I will walk a lot of it, but that isn't what matters. I am setting goals and demolishing them. I am saying yes when my fear wants me to say no. It is changing my LIFE. I have never been happier and I'm not even close to my goal weight or physique. Suddenly my body isn't what determines my happiness (I always used to think that I'd be happy when I was "skinny"). I decided to be happy by choosing to say YES more often.
If you can take one thing from this, please let it be this. You have one life - please don't let your fear limit how you live it. Say yes even when you are afraid (within reason of course lol) and start LIVING :) try something new. Do something you might normally shy away from. Soon you will realize that you CAN do it! Whatever you put your mind to. You can accomplish :)