Monday July 2nd I lost my best friend; I lost my chocolate lab, Cassius. It was so sudden; I didn’t really have time to process what was going on. I just had to make a lot of impossible decisions, really quickly. My heart was shattered and I didn’t know which emotion to feel first: Anger? Why did God take him from me? Sadness? I wouldn’t feel his kisses or his wet nose again. Or Guilt? Did I make the right decisions?
I didn’t know how to cope, I had never lost someone that I loved before. I stopped eating and then I ate everything in sight. I binged and then I starved myself. I wanted to make the pain disappear and I wasn’t considering the long term effects of my behaviour. Now I have an extra 15lbs to work with…
I’m trying not to be too hard on myself about the extra weight, I had a slip up but I am ready to get back on track and get closer, each day, to the body I deserve :) And if you are going through something and you are falling behind on training or you aren't eating very well, dont be too hard on yourself. Just do your best, that's all anyone can ask of you right now!
Heaven forbid you find yourself in a situation where your heart is shattered and you just don’t know how to cope; maybe you could try a few of these things… They are helping me stay away from destructive food behaviours…
1) Talk with a friend or family member who has gone through the same thing or is able to understand your pain
2) Write to the person or pet you lost. Write them a final letter describing all of your feelings and emotions. You have to get the feelings out so you can deal with them. Sometimes you just need one more chance to tell your loved one how much you care. *And depending on your beliefs, you are never alone, the person or pet you lost is always with you*
3) Go outside. I can’t tell you how much this has helped. Going for walks around the neighbourhood or sitting on the steps in front of my house and just watching the breeze blow through the trees and the clouds moving across the skies. Staying cooped up in the house just doesn’t help, even though I rarely want to leave my bed these days…
4) Grab a water bottle and hit the gym. I never wanted to leave my bed, but deep down I knew I had to get back into my routine. I trained with Craig at True North Barbell Monday night and it was incredibly therapeutic! I’m not SUPER strong (yet), but I can hold my own, and this reminded me that I am physically and mentally strong. I can get through pain. I get push myself through anything. When you look at it, pushing through one more rep and pushing through one more day, really aren’t that different. You have to dig deep and find the strength to go on.
I hope you never find yourself in a situation that requires any of the tips I mentioned above, but if you do, I hope they help.
Today I woke up with a lighter heart and I am looking forward to training again on Wednesday. Until then I will eat my prepared meals, drink lots of water, stay outside and take it day by day :)