Bootcamp, Self Esteem, and Body Image

Hey everyone,

Wow, what an incredible 6 weeks!  Bootcamp ended last night and I was filled with SO many emotions.  Last night we did hill runs, walking lunges up hill, and even walking/running backward uphill.  It was hard, probably my hardest workout ever during those 6 weeks.  I pushed myself and groaned and cursed but when the hour was up I felt SO accomplished!  I know many of the girls felt the same.  #FUManhole

Once I got back to my car after we finished training, I was overcome with emotion.  I was so grateful for the women I now call friends and for my Coach, Sandra.  These ladies push each other and cheer each other on, it is so heartwarming.  Thank you for that :)  I also felt so proud of myself (and this is hard to admit because I feel like I am bragging, but I think I need to get over that…), it was a very challenging workout and I paced myself but I never gave up.  I am learning with each passing day that I am strong, mentally and physically.  I can push myself further and harder than I ever thought possible.  I felt like nothing could stop me, I felt like a warrior.

They say that it is your mind that actually stops you from pushing past your comfort zone, not your body.  It is SO true.  My legs were shaking, my knee was tight, and my lungs felt like they might explode; but I was OK.  I could safely push on and give it 100%.  My mind was telling me I should slow down or take a breather, but I knew I was OK.  I guess I am learning to listen to my body, not just my mind. 

Joining Sandra’s bootcamp is easily one of the best decisions I have made on my Health & Fitness Journey.  I have truly learned so much about myself in the last 6 weeks and I am really looking forward to starting up again on June 17^th!  I can’t wait to see what goals we can achieve over the summer!

Now, there is another thing I wanted to talk about.  If you follow me on Facebook you may remember I had a “Light bulb Moment” about loving your body.  This was all sparked by a Kickstarter video shared by Taryn Brumfitt.  She shares her story, which is all too familiar, about not loving her body.  It affects her relationships and social life.  Sound familiar?  It does to me.  She thought she was alone, so she decided to ask 100 women to describe their bodies in one word.  The responses brought tears to my eyes… wobbly, imperfect, stumpy, very average, not nice to look at, gross, disgusting, disgusting, disgusting…  Taryn realized that she had an even bigger issue on her hands.  She had a young daughter and she wondered how she would teach that little girl to love her body, if she didn’t even love her own.  She entered herself into a body building competition and achieved the “perfect body” but quickly realized that the outside is only half of the battle.  Nothing changed about the way she looked at herself or how she felt about her body.  It is just as much a mental change as it is physical.  She decided to start a movement; The Body Image Movement.  Taryn wants women to start loving their bodies just as they are right this very moment.  EveryBODY is beautiful.  It starts from within; you need to learn to love, embrace, and accept your body exactly the way it looks and feels right now.  That’s not to say you can’t improve the exterior by going to the gym or doing yoga etc.  There is nothing wrong with that.  It is all up to you, but just remember that it starts on the inside first.  You can achieve the “perfect” body, but if you haven’t spent the time to love yourself, flaws and all, nothing will change.  You will still find something “wrong” with yourself. 

Her video really got me thinking, but it was the comments section of her video that truly lit a fire within me.  There were so many trolls saying that she was promoting an unhealthy lifestyle by telling “fat people” to love themselves.  It crushed me!  Everyone and everyBODY is deserving of love no matter what size, shape, colour, or gender.  Taryn was not suggesting that everyone throw caution to the wind and stuff their faces without regard for their health.  No matter what the scale says, you are beautiful and you should love your body. 

My journey has never been about reaching a certain number on the scale or a certain dress size.  I just want to be healthy and happy and have the outside match the inside.  I am getting there, one day at a time!  It is very exciting and I am having a lot of fun on this ride.  It is hard but it is so worth it :)  I love my body and I am so thankful for it.  I treat my body with respect now; I eat well, exercise, and have realistic expectations and goals.  This is a lifestyle change for me and I have never been happier!

If you take only one thing from this post, I hope it is this… You are beautiful, just as you are.  You don’t need makeup or Spanx to achieve it.  You are already beautiful.  Take a look at yourself and remove the cruel, judgmental lens.  Embrace the body you have, be grateful for it and love it. 

xoxox
Kayla

Happy Looks Good On You

Hello everyone!

I usually don't write blogs "like this" (sitting in front of the TV), I usually mull my thoughts over for a few days and then start writing, but this episode of Oprah hit me so hard, I had to grab my laptop and start writing!

Oprah had a woman on the show named Toni Morrison and they talked about an interview they did many years ago.  Part of their discussion was about letting your face speak what is in your heart.  Whether you are talking about your children, loved ones, friends, or coworkers - people need to be seen.  When one of those people walk into the room, your heart is glad to see them, but does your face show it?  Many of us are so concerned with with "other people" think that we seem to have put the mute button on ourselves. 

You know you've been in that situation, you see someone you haven't seen in a while and all you want to do is wrap your arms around them and give them a big bear hug, but you settle for a one armed-half-hug because you don't want to seem to excited (there's people around...geesh).  Have you ever noticed what reaction MOST people give that kind of embrace?  They are genuinely HAPPY for you!  They feel the love!  Hell, sometimes they want to join in on the hug because positive emotion is just so contagious!  And even more importantly, the person who is receiving that hug feels SO special!

Don't let your true feelings be muted, life is too short to worry about what other people think.

Life is SHORT!  Be in the moment!  Your feet will still hurt in five minutes so when you come home from a long hard day and your child comes up to you and wants to show you all of the cool things she painted at school "Mommy, mommy LOOK!!!" and you stop for a moment and wish you just had five minutes to put your feet up, I say this... Grab your little one, sit her on your lap and put your feet up and listen to all the stories she has to tell you :)   When your little one, loved one, friend, etc walks into a room and your eyes light up and you make time for them, it shows them how valued they are.  Toni shared an example of a time when her eldest son  came into the room and showed her a painting he did at school, she said "Oh, that's nice!", she said he ripped that painting up into tiny pieces and let them fall to the floor.  She asked him why he did that and he said, because I saw that little smile on your face.  She instantly knew what he meant.  It was that dismissive little "uh huh, oh nice, oh sure" kind of response.  You can make your best friend feel that way, your mother, or your spouse.  When someone wants to share something with you, BE there with them and be grateful that they have chosen to spend that time with YOU.

Now, some of you might be thinking, "what do you mean 'BE' there, I'm sitting right across from my boyfriend/best friend etc", yes but are you mentally and emotionally there with them?  If your cell phone is in your hand; you are not really there.  BE in the moment with those you choose to spend your time with.  Hang on to their every word and let your face speak what is in your heart.

When you are in the moment you can truly appreciate and experience life.  So many of us get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we don't always LIVE, we just exist.  This is a saying I have held close to my  heart for as long as I can remember.  I forget it, often, but I always come back to it.  I think to myself, if today was my last day, what kind of stories would I have to share in heaven?  I could tell you about the long, hard day I've had - I have had a lot of those.  But what about the fun things in life, the things that make memories.  I watched a TV show recently and the main character was out on a first date and he was asked "what do you like to do, what are your passions" and he said "I like bowling"... I don't want my answer to be bowling.  I want to talk about all of the things I am passionate about, and not have to stop and think about what those things are.  When you are in the moment and you (yes I am going to say it, yes it is very cliche) "stop and smell the roses" you will see things a little differently.  When you make time to find the beauty in every day life, you will be happier and filled with more joy. 

Think about it for a second... When you really sit back and relax, what do you see?  I bet you notice the pretty rainbow after the rain, or maybe you see the fresh morning dew on the grass in your backyard.  When you rush through life because all you are thinking about is getting the kids off to school, or turning in that report - you miss all of those things.  Life is what you make it, my friends.  You can choose to have a happy life or you can let those opportunities pass you by.  Now, I am not saying that everything is always rainbows, lollipops and fucking sunshine... sometimes life kicks you in the pants and you really need to let it all out.  You might be mad for a month!  That is okay too, but bring yourself back and remember to allow the beauty in :)

Whether you are reading this thinking I am totally nuts or you are right there with me, I have a challenge for you.  These are my top 3 rules for being happy and I challenge you to practice them :) 

 

1. Decide to be happy

You can only be happy if you choose to be.  You wake up and realize the alarm clock didn't go off, you are about to be late for work, the line up at Starbucks is WAYYYYY too long, but you finally sit down at your desk and take that first sip - only to realize the lid wasn't on properly and that warm fuzzy feeling in your chest is actually hot fucking lava coffee all over your shirt - THAT could really mess up your day, OR you can say, "Well, its a damn good thing I didn't clean out my car like I planned to on the weekend, I should still have that sweater in there... might stink, but its dry" and then tell your shitty but funny story when you go out for drinks later that night.

2. Make other people happy

I find immense pleasure in making other people smile.  Whether it is a "Hey I saw this while I was out the other day and thought of you" gift or just telling someone they look nice today.  Making someone else's day can often have the same effect on you.  I am sure you have done it before, it's pay day and you are feeling good so you decide to pay for a coffee for the person standing in line behind you.  It probably cost you less than $2 but I bet you will have made that person's day!  It has happened to me before and then this magical little thing happens, you want to "Pay it Forward".  Someone does something nice for me - holds the door, gives me a compliment, or buys my coffee - I can guarantee the next 5 people I see are getting a MEGAWATT smile from me and a compliment and a free coffee!  It feels SO good to share the sunshine :)

3. Accept that you cannot change anyone expect yourself

In life we encounter all kinds of people.  Some of them we fall in love with, some of them just dream about serving them a shit pie like Milly did... If you dont know what I am talking about please watch this video: 

So yes, sometimes I want to do that to people because I just dont understand them.  Why are some people so mean?!  Shit pie.  Why do people leave their animals (or children) in a hot car?!  Shit pie.  Why this, why that, WHY WHY WHYYYY????  Shit Fucking PIE!

You can drive yourself CRAZY my dear wondering why this and why that.  When you realize that you cannot change people and you cant figure everyone out, you will be a lot happier.  Do not waste one precious minute of your life thinking about those kinds of people.  People will only change for themselves, you might be able to help people but in the end you cannot change anyone, you can only change yourself.  So when all you want to do is scream WHYYY?!  Step back, pretend you've given them a shit pie, smile, and move on :) 



So, please remember to let your face show how your heart feels, be in the moment, and take the steps you need to take to live a happy, healthy life :)

xoxox
Kayla

 

 

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