Shut Down Fat Talk

Hello everyone!

I don’t always practice everything I preach when it comes to this particular topic, but I think it’s important that I start, TODAY.  I hope that after watching the attached video and reading my post, you will try to do this with me.  A little bit each day makes a difference.

Here is the video:

 

 

So you know how you wake up and immediately decide it’s going to be a “fat day”… where nothing you put on looks good and you think everything makes you look fat?  Then you proceed to talk down to yourself during breakfast, getting ready, the whole drive to the office, and WATCH OUT when you finally get home from work and take those jeans off!

Do you understand how detrimental that is to your health?  Mental and physical.  I’m not saying it’s not okay to have an off day – but I am saying it’s not okay to bully yourself about it.  

OK fine, maybe those jeans are a little tight – rather than bashing yourself about the muffin top make a healthy decision to do something about it.  Are the jeans actually just too small or did you just eat a few extra slices of pumpkin pie over the holidays?  If the jeans are from high school and you just don’t want to let them go – PLEASE DONATE THEM!  You aren’t a teenager anymore.  Buy some jeans that fit and flatter your body, you deserve it!  If the pie is to blame for the tight jeans – take a deep breath and make a plan.  Tell yourself that you are going to make sure you do these three things every day to help get yourself back on track:

1.       Stay hydrated!

2.       Fuel your body with healthy foods and do NOT, I repeat DO NOT withhold food from yourself – that will not help you!

3.       Get as much sleep as you can (7-8 hours if possible!)

If you can add in some exercise too, even better, but don’t punish yourself.  Please.  Just commit to being healthy and getting yourself back on track.  You are allowed to enjoy life and the delicious treats that come along with it ;)

Fat talk is something I don’t quite understand – I mean I do it – but I don’t get it…

Why on earth would we sit here and rip ourselves to shreds?  It doesn’t even sound productive.  You certainly wouldn’t tell another person that they looked really fat and ugly today, would you?  So then why do we feel that it is okay to say it to ourselves? 

If your daughter (sister, cousin, friend etc.) came home and told you that someone told her that she had a disgusting muffin top and she should’ve just stayed home in bed today – would you accept that?  Absolutely not is what I’m thinking…

We need to shut down fat talk. 

We need to start loving ourselves just the way we are.  That isn’t to say that you can’t make improvements (in a healthy capacity of course), but we need to accept that the body we have right now is worth just as much love, adoration, and respect as the body we might be working toward.  Even if you HAVE the body you worked hard for, it is time you start to appreciate it and love it unconditionally.

You are still the same person deep inside (heart, personality, humour etc.) no matter what package it comes in.  Don’t wait until you are “there” to start loving yourself.  Love who you are now!

Take a moment and think of all the young girls in your life - you are a role model to them whether you know it or not.  Every time you talk down to yourself you are teaching them that it is ok.  Kate Winslet recently said in an article that she makes a point of talking about all of the things she loves about her body, in front of her daughter so that it becomes NORMAL to her.  This is what we should all strive for.  Right now the norm is trash talking your own body…  Ugh look at my muffin top, ugh my thighs touch, ugh blah blah blah.

Break the circle - love your body - start speaking words of love and respect to yourself about your body.  For example:  I love the way my bum looks in these jeans!

If you have a sister or daughter (or anyone - boy or girl) in your family, make sure they hear it.  It is important that we show people it is OKAY to be proud of your body!  We have become a world of thinner is better and talking about your muffin top makes you cool in some twisted way.  We need to change that!

Can you imagine how this world would change if we just starting loving ourselves unconditionally and decided we no longer accept the current, unhealthy, definition of beauty?  Oh how things would change!

Anyway, this is starting to get long… I don’t want you to feel like you are reading a novel ;) 

I posted a challenge on Facebook Dec 16^th asking everyone to choose LOVE today – Dec 17^th.  I am now challenging you to Shut Down Fat Talk.  If you start talking or thinking negatively about your body – recognize it and turn that bullying behaviour around and say something nice to yourself about your body.  If you hear someone else bullying themselves about their body, compliment them instead.  I truly believe if we start to practice positivity, we can change the way women all around the world think of their bodies.  So, will you accept my challenge?  I encourage all of you to try :)

Guys, I am not purposely avoiding you – I know men have a lot to deal with too when it comes to body image and what is considered “sexy”.  Please read this with him/he/etc. in place of any her/she etc. mentioned above – this is for you too!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post!

If you enjoyed it and you accept my challenge, please like the post on Facebook so I know!  I will check in with those who “like” the post to see how you’re doing :)

Lots of love,
Kayla

 

 

 



 

Blog Update!

Hey everyone!

I just wanted to address my NEW blog name and URL! 

I feel like my blog is about much more than fitness.  It is about life and everything that comes along with it!  So I felt it was important to update the blog name and description.

I started this blog so I could share my experiences with the world!  I love telling stories and helping others by sharing bits of my life.  Whether you are here because you want to know about the latest arrivals at Sephora or because you need some motivation to stay on track with your health and fitness goals or perhaps you stumbled onto my blog because you were looking for some advice... You have come to the right place.

This is the kind of blog that reads like a conversation with your girlfriends - it's relaxed and I hope that after you've read a few posts, you leave feeling inspired.
 
Grab a cup of tea and settle in, we have a lot to cover :)

Until next time,
Kayla

Oil Pulling with Coconut Oil

*Disclaimer – I am not a doctor and my opinions are just that – opinions.  Not suggestions or anything more.  Please consult your physician before making any changes.*

Hey everyone!

I have so many things to blog about; I just don’t know where to start!  I have had epiphany after epiphany in the last month or so and it has really awakened something in me… My quest for health had really turned inward; yes I want to lift and get toned and strong, but I also have a strong desire to care for everything beyond the muscle etc. 

I love to research – I am a knowledge fiend… I crave information.  If I get onto something, it is not uncommon to find me on my laptop researching at all hours of the night.  So, my quest for natural health began…  I wanted to find ways to improve my health with some easy steps I can add to my day.  This led me to oil pulling…  The oil acts like a cleanser in your mouth, pulling out bacteria, viruses, and toxins.  Think of it like oil for your car – it collects all of the debris and gunk and when you replace the oil, it takes all of the bad stuff with it, leaving your car running smoothly.

I had heard a lot about oil pulling and the benefits, but it just seemed so strange to me.  Who wants to swish oil around in their mouth – YUCK!  But as I felt yet another sinus infection coming on, I thought I might as well give it a shot.  I went to Zehrs today and picked up some coconut oil and before I jumped into bed I took a scoop, let it melt in my mouth, and started swishing.  Pushing and pulling it between my teeth, just like any other mouth wash.  Surprisingly, it didn’t feel greasy at all!

I have decided to record my experience so I can look back and see how much has changed!

Oil Pulling – Day One:

Symptoms:  for the last few days I have been feeling off, like I am catching a cold.  Then the sinus pressure and pain began to build.  As soon as I lay back or tilt my head to one side, I get stuffed up.  Ugh.  I am also developing a slight cough.  I can feel my achy lungs through my back.

Experience: my first time oil pulling was interesting.  I didn’t know exactly what to expect, but I am fairly certain my experience was typical!  I set the timer on my phone for 20 minutes and I watched some YouTube videos while I swished!  After about 10-15 minutes the coconut oil stopped tasting so coconut-y and began tasting metallic.  I can only assume this was the taste of all the bad stuff being pulled from my mouth.  (uh… GROSS!)  I also noticed that I had a strong urge to clear my throat; it was phlegmy.  (Double GROSS!)  Anyway, I continued until the timer went off – woo hoo!  Success!  I did it :)  I rinsed my mouth out with warm water and then proceeded to brush my teeth.  Everything was looking good!  Then, it started – OMG I think I am going to be sick! – BARF CITY!  Oh man, it hit me like a truck!  Within a few moments though, I was done being sick and I felt absolutely fine.  (Background:  I have a very strong stomach – it takes a lot for me to throw up).  Apparently I have some detoxing to do… (they say this is typical)

Benefits/Changes/Results:  As I type this I can feel my gums tingling as though they have just had a really good cleaning and are a tad bit irritated with me.  They don’t hurt or anything like that – I can just feel a slight difference.  My sinus pressure and pain are still the same – no changes there.  My teeth do feel extra clean – like straight from the dentist clean.  Woo hoo!

OK guys, that is it for my first update!  I will update my progress weekly, as I don’t expect a whole lot to change day to day.  We shall see!

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to leave them below!  Or if you also practice oil pulling and would like to share your experience or any tips I would love to hear from you :)

Until next time,
Kayla

Coconut Oil

 

Happy Looks Good On You

Hello everyone!

I usually don't write blogs "like this" (sitting in front of the TV), I usually mull my thoughts over for a few days and then start writing, but this episode of Oprah hit me so hard, I had to grab my laptop and start writing!

Oprah had a woman on the show named Toni Morrison and they talked about an interview they did many years ago.  Part of their discussion was about letting your face speak what is in your heart.  Whether you are talking about your children, loved ones, friends, or coworkers - people need to be seen.  When one of those people walk into the room, your heart is glad to see them, but does your face show it?  Many of us are so concerned with with "other people" think that we seem to have put the mute button on ourselves. 

You know you've been in that situation, you see someone you haven't seen in a while and all you want to do is wrap your arms around them and give them a big bear hug, but you settle for a one armed-half-hug because you don't want to seem to excited (there's people around...geesh).  Have you ever noticed what reaction MOST people give that kind of embrace?  They are genuinely HAPPY for you!  They feel the love!  Hell, sometimes they want to join in on the hug because positive emotion is just so contagious!  And even more importantly, the person who is receiving that hug feels SO special!

Don't let your true feelings be muted, life is too short to worry about what other people think.

Life is SHORT!  Be in the moment!  Your feet will still hurt in five minutes so when you come home from a long hard day and your child comes up to you and wants to show you all of the cool things she painted at school "Mommy, mommy LOOK!!!" and you stop for a moment and wish you just had five minutes to put your feet up, I say this... Grab your little one, sit her on your lap and put your feet up and listen to all the stories she has to tell you :)   When your little one, loved one, friend, etc walks into a room and your eyes light up and you make time for them, it shows them how valued they are.  Toni shared an example of a time when her eldest son  came into the room and showed her a painting he did at school, she said "Oh, that's nice!", she said he ripped that painting up into tiny pieces and let them fall to the floor.  She asked him why he did that and he said, because I saw that little smile on your face.  She instantly knew what he meant.  It was that dismissive little "uh huh, oh nice, oh sure" kind of response.  You can make your best friend feel that way, your mother, or your spouse.  When someone wants to share something with you, BE there with them and be grateful that they have chosen to spend that time with YOU.

Now, some of you might be thinking, "what do you mean 'BE' there, I'm sitting right across from my boyfriend/best friend etc", yes but are you mentally and emotionally there with them?  If your cell phone is in your hand; you are not really there.  BE in the moment with those you choose to spend your time with.  Hang on to their every word and let your face speak what is in your heart.

When you are in the moment you can truly appreciate and experience life.  So many of us get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we don't always LIVE, we just exist.  This is a saying I have held close to my  heart for as long as I can remember.  I forget it, often, but I always come back to it.  I think to myself, if today was my last day, what kind of stories would I have to share in heaven?  I could tell you about the long, hard day I've had - I have had a lot of those.  But what about the fun things in life, the things that make memories.  I watched a TV show recently and the main character was out on a first date and he was asked "what do you like to do, what are your passions" and he said "I like bowling"... I don't want my answer to be bowling.  I want to talk about all of the things I am passionate about, and not have to stop and think about what those things are.  When you are in the moment and you (yes I am going to say it, yes it is very cliche) "stop and smell the roses" you will see things a little differently.  When you make time to find the beauty in every day life, you will be happier and filled with more joy. 

Think about it for a second... When you really sit back and relax, what do you see?  I bet you notice the pretty rainbow after the rain, or maybe you see the fresh morning dew on the grass in your backyard.  When you rush through life because all you are thinking about is getting the kids off to school, or turning in that report - you miss all of those things.  Life is what you make it, my friends.  You can choose to have a happy life or you can let those opportunities pass you by.  Now, I am not saying that everything is always rainbows, lollipops and fucking sunshine... sometimes life kicks you in the pants and you really need to let it all out.  You might be mad for a month!  That is okay too, but bring yourself back and remember to allow the beauty in :)

Whether you are reading this thinking I am totally nuts or you are right there with me, I have a challenge for you.  These are my top 3 rules for being happy and I challenge you to practice them :) 

 

1. Decide to be happy

You can only be happy if you choose to be.  You wake up and realize the alarm clock didn't go off, you are about to be late for work, the line up at Starbucks is WAYYYYY too long, but you finally sit down at your desk and take that first sip - only to realize the lid wasn't on properly and that warm fuzzy feeling in your chest is actually hot fucking lava coffee all over your shirt - THAT could really mess up your day, OR you can say, "Well, its a damn good thing I didn't clean out my car like I planned to on the weekend, I should still have that sweater in there... might stink, but its dry" and then tell your shitty but funny story when you go out for drinks later that night.

2. Make other people happy

I find immense pleasure in making other people smile.  Whether it is a "Hey I saw this while I was out the other day and thought of you" gift or just telling someone they look nice today.  Making someone else's day can often have the same effect on you.  I am sure you have done it before, it's pay day and you are feeling good so you decide to pay for a coffee for the person standing in line behind you.  It probably cost you less than $2 but I bet you will have made that person's day!  It has happened to me before and then this magical little thing happens, you want to "Pay it Forward".  Someone does something nice for me - holds the door, gives me a compliment, or buys my coffee - I can guarantee the next 5 people I see are getting a MEGAWATT smile from me and a compliment and a free coffee!  It feels SO good to share the sunshine :)

3. Accept that you cannot change anyone expect yourself

In life we encounter all kinds of people.  Some of them we fall in love with, some of them just dream about serving them a shit pie like Milly did... If you dont know what I am talking about please watch this video: 

So yes, sometimes I want to do that to people because I just dont understand them.  Why are some people so mean?!  Shit pie.  Why do people leave their animals (or children) in a hot car?!  Shit pie.  Why this, why that, WHY WHY WHYYYY????  Shit Fucking PIE!

You can drive yourself CRAZY my dear wondering why this and why that.  When you realize that you cannot change people and you cant figure everyone out, you will be a lot happier.  Do not waste one precious minute of your life thinking about those kinds of people.  People will only change for themselves, you might be able to help people but in the end you cannot change anyone, you can only change yourself.  So when all you want to do is scream WHYYY?!  Step back, pretend you've given them a shit pie, smile, and move on :) 



So, please remember to let your face show how your heart feels, be in the moment, and take the steps you need to take to live a happy, healthy life :)

xoxox
Kayla

 

 

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Rock Bottom

Hey everyone,

I just got back from Texas a few days ago and that trip really changed my life.  I had a lot of fun - we drove around Houston and the surrounding cities, I finished the last Sookie Stackhouse novel, I swam, and soaked up some sun.  You are probably thinking, "What is so life changing about that?!"... Well, this is how it started...

I don't particularly care for my body shape... I know I need to lose weight and I need to get myself back into a routine of eating well and exercising daily.  I know this, but I didn't think I looked that bad...

Scene A - The Airplane

Airplanes are not comfy for anyone, there is never enough legroom and there is always someone kicking your chair.  But you know what is worse than that?  Feeling uncomfortable in your chair because you don't fit.  It took all of my might not to break down and run out of the plane and down the hallway back to our car and drive home.  I played the scenario over and over in my mind.  I planned my escape.  The next thing I knew, we were landing in Texas.  I wouldn't even enjoy the flight, something I used to love!  Looking at the clouds and the land beneath me used to bring me joy, it was so beautiful.  Now I lost the whole experience because I was so caught up in my plan to get out of there.


Scene B - The Hotel

Of course we had to pick a hotel with the LONGEST walk from the lobby to the pool.  I kid you not, its a 5 minute walk.  I hadn't mapped it out before I went over there the first time, it was the longest walk of my life.  I felt like everyone could see me in a bathing suit, even though I was wearing a cover up dress.  (What do you think is going to happen at the pool, Kayla????)  I told myself, who cares, they will never see you again, and most importantly; you will never see them again.  (Really, that's how you want to live???  Embarrassed about your body and telling yourself that its okay because you will never have to face these people again???)  But it is what kept me going...

Scene C - The Pool

So I finally get to the pool.  I have my book and 5 towels.  One for behind my back, against the lounger.  The second for behind my neck, to use as a pillow, and the rest to cover myself up so nobody can see me in a bathing suit.  (SERIOUSLY???  What's the point?!)  I waited until most people had moved on to another pool, or nobody was around at that moment and I jumped in the pool.  Ahhh, this is my bliss... I LOVE swimming.  I feel so free!  I am swimming laps and then, I stop dead in my tracks and I think OH MY GOD it is Nicole Wilkins... What do I say, how do I even begin?!  I am so excited!  OH MY FREAKING GOD she is picking the lane next to me!  Someone I look up to is right beside me!!!! (Oh damn, its not her... but I swear it looked just like her!!!)  It turns out to be a girl named Lauren, she works in the gym as a trainer.  She and I start talking, we're laughing, having a great time in the pool swimming laps and chatting when we need a break.  Then, all of the sudden I need to pee... but I think to myself, you cant get out of the pool, she isn't going to want to talk to you once she sees what your body ACTUALLY looks like... so you better just hold it.  Well, Lauren was in the pool another hour.  I thought to myself this is ABSOLUTELY REDICULOUS!  You cant live your life like this anymore... you need to make a change and you need to make it quick. 

At that moment I said this is enough, Kayla. This is fucking enough...

I felt like the Ugly Duckling...  For the first time in my life, I felt like I was UGLY and BIG.  I don't know if I have just been in severe denile, I always knew I had weight to lose, it upset me a lot, but I still felt like a normal girl.  Perhaps I have just spent too much time being overweight that I have lost sight of the beautiful girl I once felt I was.  I don't remember the last time a guy really looked at me or told me I was beautiful.  Honestly, couldnt tell you.  (Not that you need anyone's approval, but it's just something that is nice to hear, you know?)

On this trip I decided that I don't want to feel this way anymore.  I want to be confident again and not just think I am pretty from the chin up.  I have hit all sorts of "Rock Bottom"... I have had eating disorders, severe depression, and yet it took a trip to Texas to shake me to my core.  I have never felt so awful and ashamed. 

Life is WAY too short to waste any more time like this.  I told my friend Sandra that in the past I had always lost weight for someone else - but this time it has to be for me.  This really made that clear to me.  If there was any doubt that I could do it, was I worth it, was I too far gone... the doubt is gone.  I am tired of feeling "second class" - I need to be healthy - Mind, Body, and Spirit - for ME.

If you are reading this and feeling any of the same things I talked about, please know that you can do it.  You are worth it.  You only get so many trips around the sun, so please start living now.  Don't let fear and shame rule your life; you deserve to be happy.  It might take you a different scenario to realize you need to make a change, but whatever it is, I hope you listen to your heart and I hope you work for the life you deserve.

One of my favourite quotes that kicks me in the ass when I feel lazy is:

 





You have to work for it.  You have to pour your heart and soul into it and you cannot give up.  You can fall, you can puke, you can faint, you can cry, you can scream... but you cannot give up!

 

 



I started this journey once before and got really close to a place where I was happy (er) with my body.  I had lost 50 lbs and I was so proud of myself.  But I let the stresses of life get in the way and BAM I was back at square one.  I know how hard I had to work to get there, and I know that I CAN do it.  I am so tired of starting over; so I am going to stop giving up.  I will not let stress get in the way of my life anymore.  I don't want to feel what I felt at that swimming pool in Texas ever again.  I want to feel beautiful and worthy and never fear that someone wouldn't want to talk to me after they saw my body.  How sad is that?  I made a decision in Texas and I started right then and there.  I got up every morning and had a healthy breakfast and then went to the gym and then swam laps in the beautiful pool outside.

Today I decided to share this with you because when I first started this blog I said I would take you along this journey with me.  The ups, the downs, and everything in between.  I told myself and my readers that if I could help just ONE person, it would be worth the brutal honesty.  I don't sit here typing these personal blogs with ease.  I cry and it hurts and I am terrified that someone is going to read my blog and laugh at me.  Those things are all true.  But my desire to help save another girl from feeling worthless or making unsafe/unhealthy choices like I did, is stronger than my fear.  I share because I want to help.

Thank you for reading,
K



The Power of Words

Hey everyone,

I have been holding onto this post for a while now, rewriting it over and over because it just didn’t sound right.  Today I decided I am not going to edit, I am just going to write… let it all flow!  I am listening to Kacey Musgraves – LOVE HER – so here goes!

Never, ever let one person change your opinion of yourself or your work.  Many of us have been in a situation where one person just knows what buttons to push and how to make you feel like shit.  Maybe it’s an ex – partner, friend, co-worker –one person that can make you feel as small as an ant.  You know that you shouldn’t let them affect you, but it is so hard to stay strong.  Believe me, I understand this, I struggle with this too.  But I try to remind myself that “What other people think of you is none of your business”…

 

In all honesty, who gives a damn if someone in your life doesn’t like your favourite lipstick, style of clothing, or thinks they would’ve done a better job of decorating the house or working on a project at the office.  It is none of your business because it does not matter.  If you love that lipstick and you worked your hardest on that project at work, that is enough.  If you can be honest with yourself and you truly feel you did your best – then who can say a damn thing to you.

Now, of course, you must take that advice with a grain of salt.  If you are hurting yourself or those around you with your life choices, then you should certainly listen to your loved ones.  The situations I am talking about here are much less “severe”.

 

I have had this same experience countless times in my life so far.  I feel so good about something and with one breath, I am knocked down and I start believing I hadn’t done as well as I thought.  I start “negative self-talk” and in no time at all my high is a very low, low.  You need to watch for signs in yourself, and stop yourself from going down that road.  It’s a challenge, but you can do it :)

 

 

Like my last post, you need to be your own cheerleader sometimes, so be careful how you talk about yourself – you ARE listening, ya know ;)

 

 

 

 

 

Now, let’s flip the script for a minute… So far we have been talking about the “Victim” the person who is on the receiving end of the shit stick… What about the person who makes the victim feel that way? 

 

I was watching Oprah recently and she had some pretty fantastic black actresses on the show and they talked about how hard it is to be a black female actress.  Gabrielle Union shared a story about being a “Mean Girl” and it really made me think about these kinds of people.

Why do they act this way?  Why are people so mean?  Cue Kacey’s song “Step Off” (you need to YouTube this…).  What is it that makes people mean?  Gabrielle admitted that it was her own insecurities.  She said that her personal trainer was at an event with her and overheard her gossiping about another woman, with a group of her “friends”.  Gabrielle said that her trainer came up to her when she was by herself and asked her “now that all of these people have walked away, what are you left with?  Are you any richer?  Cooler?  Feel proud of yourself?  Did talking about that other woman make you feel good?  Did breaking her apart behind her back make your “friends” like you more?”  Wow… deep questions.  Gabrielle’s trainer gave her a lot of food for thought – as women we need to empower each other, not tear each other down.  Help each other succeed.  We only have so much time on this Earth, why would you want to spend it surrounded with negativity?

Whether you are the “Mean Girl (or Boy)” or the one who is affected by this person, try to stop and think about what that person is going through and why they are acting the way they are.  Maybe someone is mean to them, and they are just lashing out.  It doesn’t make it right, but it can help us understand, to some degree, why some people act the way they do.  Don’t let their mean words hurt you, forgive them and walk away.

Remember…

My favourite Pastor, Joel Osteen, often says that you need to surround yourself with positive people who will raise you up, not bring you down.  So in conclusion, remember the power of words.  The words you say to other people and the words you say to yourself.  Speak love, strength, and kindness to those around you and in turn, they will do the same to you.  Stay true to yourself and surround yourself with good people who you can count on and never let someone else take away your SHINE :)

 

Well hello there...

Hey everyone!

It has been a while since I last blogged... I was in a funk and had nothing good to say... well consider the funk GONE :)

I have posted a something I think you will like!

Happy reading!

XO
K

Do things for YOU, not for the approval of others…

Some days you need to hear that you have done a good job… You work really hard on something at work and you want to hear that you have done a good job and that someone noticed…  We all need it, even if we shrug it off out of embarrassment or laugh it off because we don’t know how to accept it.

There are times that we need to do things and do them without expecting a pat on the back or a “Job Well Done!”  It can be frustrating at times and challenging not to have a cheerleader keeping you going.  But there are times where you have to do something because it just needs to be done.  This can relate to many facets of your life; health and fitness, work, love, and so much more.  When you take the garbage out you don’t expect your partner to make a scene…pom poms rustling through the air… you do it because it is something that needs to be done.  Why then, do we have such a hard time taking care of ourselves?  If you need to lose weight, why are you putting the onus on someone else?  I can’t lose weight because I need to have someone cheering for me, making me feel like I can do it.  That last part right there tells you all you need to hear.  YOU CAN DO IT.  You are doing the hard work, sweating your ass off; it isn’t that other person losing the weight for you.  It is all you baby.

Or perhaps weight isn’t your issue but you smoke or drink or eat too much white bread…  You are all fighting the same fight…  You need to believe in yourself and do this for YOU!  Not to hear “oh wow great job!” or anything like that.  Do it for the pure and simple self-satisfaction.  Do it for the ease of getting dressed in the morning (those of us who have/are struggling with weight know how hard of a mission picking out clothes can be), do it for the health benefits, and do it to prove to yourself that you are strong and you are capable!

Now, some of you might be saying… well that’s great and all if you believe in yourself… but I just can’t… I have tried and I have failed… I don’t want to fail any more… I don’t want to ever feel that again…

I have been there, too.  We are brought up thinking that failure is a bad thing.  Failing is really just discovering what didn’t work this time, and what to change so the next time is better.  Take every failure and find the lesson you can learn from it.  Cook the pasta too long – its mush.  FAIL.  Lesson – cook pasta less.  It seems pretty simple when we remove our feelings from the equation.  Workout like crazy – lose 5 lbs – stop working out – gain 6 lbs.  FAIL.  Lesson – this is a lifestyle, not a quick fix, keep at it :)

I truly believe that you have to love yourself before you can grow – whether that be in a relationship or your personal goals.  Find something you love about yourself and focus on that, rather than the things you aren’t so fond of.  Your perception of yourself can make or break you…  If all you see yourself doing is falling and never getting back up – you will stay on the ground forever.  You MUST see yourself getting up, dusting yourself off, and trying again (and again, and again, and again…).  You have the power to change your life; it is all in your heart!  Just put your mind to it and forget about everyone else.  Don’t worry about people at the gym (they aren’t looking at you and thinking “why does she even bother”), they might be checking out your form, learning a thing or two!  Don’t worry about your family or your friends either, it will take them a while to notice the changes in your body… you see them every day and they may not be comfortable suggesting that you look smaller…it’s a roundabout way of suggesting you once looked bigger… people are weird.  Just ignore everyone else and do this for your damn self.  It will feel oh so good when you succeed :)

Stay tuned for my next blog post about positivity and changing your mind to change your life!  It will feature some words of wisdom from Pastor Joel Osteen, he is a very motivating and uplifting man with a great story of his own :)

XO
K