Hey everyone!
First I must apologize for being so absent this past month, it has been … hectic. This post might read more like a diary entry but I think it is important to be open and honest, it keeps me accountable.
I guess I’ll just jump right in!
February was not my favourite month so far this year… February and I got off to a bad start and the negativity lasted the entire month. School is stressing me out big time (it is my LAST semester!), I hurt my knee (it’s already kinda crappy… I’ve got Osgood-Schlatter Disease), and my already sensitive hormones were completely out of whack. I’m really trying to focus on the positives while I deal with my hormonal imbalance, but it’s challenging. I’m most disappointed by my lack of weight loss this month… I’ve stayed the same and it has really bummed me out.
School… I have always had a love/hate relationship with school. All I can say about it is I am glad that I went to university and I am glad it is almost over. I really believe in education but holy moly it stresses me out! I’m not even going to go into detail about this one or we could be here allllllllllll night.
Knee… My stupid knee really pisses me off sometimes! I haven’t been able to do a real leg day all month. My knee aches and I get these pains that feel like ... well, the best way I can describe it is, you know the feeling you get (if you have sensitive teeth) when you drink or eat something really cold? Its that sharp pain and then it slowly fades away… That’s what I feel in my knee after cardio or sometimes it’s the reason I have to cut it short. I started going to physio again but just didn’t have a good feeling about her. I didn’t feel like we had a real plan or reason for this pain. So I’m going to my RMT (registered massage therapist) this Tuesday; she should be able to help me out! I am really hoping I can get this sorted out so I can get back to doing leg days!
Hormones… Oh hormones… I have always had a “sensitivity”, I guess you could call it, to any fluctuation in my hormones. Well this past month has been the worst I’ve ever felt when it comes to those pesky buggers… I would cry at the drop of a hat, take something to heart and brood over it for days wondering what that person meant by it, and so on… it was mentally exhausting! I went to my doc to see what I could switch my BC pill to (that’s the culprit… as soon as I started taking it my hormones went BONKERS), so we shall see what it is like next month! I am optimistic!
You may be wondering what the point is or what my message is here and I guess you could say that the point I am trying to make is, we all go through ups and downs and sometimes those “downs” are pretty hard to dig yourself out of but you have to! Obstacles are a part of life and you have to figure out how to get around them! I love the saying “fall down 7 times, pick yourself up 8 times”. It is so true! You cannot let anything keep you down. Not an injury, not stress, nothing! There were times I wanted nothing more than to stay in my bed all day but I got my ass out of bed, got ready, and went to the gym. I felt SO much better after I worked out. Cortisol is a nasty hormone that your body releases in response to stress; it will linger if you don’t get rid of it even after the stress is gone. So going to the gym after a stressful event is SO important. You need to rid your body of that stuff; you will be SO glad you did.
This month I really pulled back and hid in the shadows for a bit, hoping that nobody would ask about my progress… If they had I was sure I’d burst into tears! However, this weekend I really had an “Aha!” moment and decided that I can’t beat myself up over the events of this month. I didn’t plan for it to be such a stressful month and there is nothing I could’ve done to prevent it. So I just have to work with it instead of trying to resist it.
When I am stressed I avoid food, so today I cooked up all of my chicken and lean beef meals for the week and packaged them up. This way, I can just run to the fridge and reheat my meal instead of pulling out the pots and pans and cooking up the whole meal right then and there. I am choosing to be PROactive, rather than REactive. I am also choosing not to be so critical of my weight. That’s not to say I’m not paying attention to the numbers, I just mean that I’m not going to be upset with myself about the lack of change (tomorrow is a new day and I will work even harder to make that change happen!). Sometimes there are lulls, sometimes there are ups and downs and that is OKAY.
Here is a picture quote that really helped me this month (thanks Alyssa!):
It may have been the month from hell, but I came out of it a better person. A stronger person. I know that I can learn from my weaker moments and rise above them!
Even if you don't relate to these particular "stressors", just sub one of your "stressors" in place of mine. Maybe money is tight right now and it is stressing you out. You can still apply this way of thinking to your problem and help yourself get through it. Maybe you fell off the wagon and regained some weight and are feeling defeated... Just pick yourself up and get to the gym. Learn from your mistake (maybe you binged, maybe you stopped going to the gym, etc.) and be stronger this time.
Someone very wise often says something that never made sense to me... in fact it was kind of annoying LOL "just try harder"... If you can't do a push up... just try harder. If you can't finish that rep... just try harder. But in all honesty, it's the only thing you CAN do. If it didn't work out for you the first time, that's OKAY, just try harder next time and you will get closer to success!
I leave you with this quote…
“I've come to believe that all my past failures and frustrations were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.” - Tony Robbins