Hey everyone,
This wasn’t my originally planned post, but I just need to
talk about something. Last month I
posted about Fat Talk – talking down to yourself. Today I want to talk to the bullies who
partake in Fat Shaming.
Every day – honestly EVERY DAY – I see posts on Facebook by people
who joke about those who are overweight.
Let me tell you something – you are NOT helping! In fact you are a bully! I see two main categories here:
1)
People who used to be overweight
2)
People who have never been anything but skinny –
healthy or not
To those people who used to be overweight – I want to ask
you this. Do you not remember how hard
it was being fat? The emotional and
physical challenges you experienced. Did
you just forget about all of that?
It is absolutely none of anyone’s business how or why Person
A is overweight. It could be medical, it
could be because of depression (eating to soothe/feel better – even if only
temporary), or it could be because they really fucking like McDonalds. Either way you have no idea and you are not
owed an explanation.
Really though, what makes you think you have the right to comment on a person's size? Would you feel as comfortable talking about the colour of their skin? The country they were born in? The religion they practice?
Being overweight is not a desired state for most
people. Sure there are people out there
who enjoy it – to each their own. But
for the most part people don’t actually enjoy the sideways glances, the snickering
behind their back, or the judgement people place on them.
Maybe you think it is as simple as deciding to lose the
weight. Let me be really open and honest
with you… I have made that decision time and time again. You know what happens? I open my Facebook and see some GIFs or meme’s
that people have posted on Facebook about the fat girl who is doing something
that only a skinny girl can do without being judged – eating a burger, wearing
a bathing suit etc. That makes me feel
pretty shitty because maybe they think I am like that girl. Maybe people think I am gross. Maybe when they look at that meme, they think
it looks like me.
So I go to the gym and immediately wonder if everyone here
thinks the same thing… Then I spend most of my workout wondering - am I
sweating too much?
Some days I have high enough self-esteem to ignore those
people, and some days I can’t overlook it.
I am getting stronger as a person each day and have channeled that
emotion into something positive. I
refuse to spend the rest of my life feeling like I am unworthy because my body doesn’t
match my beautiful heart. I struggle
daily but I have committed to changing my life!
I really don’t need anyone making this any harder. (and neither does anyone else who is trying to lose weight)
Every winter, nearing the New Year, posts about “New Year’s
Resolutions” start showing up on Social Media – and a lot of people say
something about “OMG the gym is going to be SO busy—but don’t worry everything
will be back to normal in February”.
Seriously? Did you ever stop to
think that that overweight man or woman is intimidated or even scared to go into “Your House” and
feel like an outsider? You look like you
belong there – you know what you are doing.
There has got to be something that makes you feel unsure of
yourself – think of a scenario in which you wouldn’t be the most comfortable or
the most skilled. Take a minute and
think about that. Then think about how
you would feel if people passive aggressively called you out on it all of the
time. They post stuff about how you won’t
succeed anyway etc. Does that feel
nice? Maybe you don’t give a shit about
what other people think – good for you!
But empathize with those who do care – try to put yourself in their shoes. Do you think that helps them?
I encourage all of you who call the gym Home, to help the
newbies – make them feel welcome. I am
not suggesting that you walk up to the biggest person in the gym and start
telling them what to do. I am simple
suggesting that you smile, say hello – make them feel like they aren’t stupid
for showing up. Make them feel like this
is an OK place to be.
You have no idea how powerful and how influential your actions
are – and this goes for everyone in all parts of your life. Be nice to people. You don’t know everyone’s story. You might just change someone’s life for the
better with one smile :)
I am trying to think of all of the comments or thoughts
people will have regarding this post, so I just want to say one more
thing. It is true that you cannot
control how other people feel about things in life. Some people look for a reason to have a
problem with someone ex.) You are zoned out and happen to be looking directly
at someone but you don’t notice until they say “Can I help you?!”. You weren’t giving that person the stink eye
lol it was a mistake. But some people
just jump at the chance to create drama.
I am not talking about those situations. I am talking about the situations where you
choose to behave in a manner that can offend or hurt someone, and you know it.
We are all adults here and bullying in any form is wounding. I challenge you to think twice and stand up
when your buddy says something rude about another person – in person or behind the
keys of the keyboard. We aren’t in high
school anymore where we need to worry about our friends accepting us. If they truly are a friend, they will
appreciate and respect your opinion.
With that being said, all of us can stand up for one
another. If you see someone being rude, stop
them. It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic;
you can just let them know bullying isn’t cool.
I honestly hope that you read this and take something from
it. And if you think I am just "too sensitive" and making "too big of a deal" out of this, then I encourage you to read this again and pay attention this time.
Sincerely,
Kayla
Kayla
